My dad is a racist. [I Need Advice]

Wow. Unbelievable some of the responses you're getting to this message.

No. Scratch that. Entirely believable.

Advice? You aren't required to have a relationship with something simply because, by an accident of birth, you happen to share some DNA. If he wants to have a relationship with you, he needs to meet you halfway. If he's not willing to do that and he expects you to change to accommodate him, then you have to ask yourself how much you really need him in your life.

Get over yourself lmao

We all need to learn how to have conversations with people without feeling the need to exclude them from our lives.

“Dad, you’re wrong... so, how about the NHL playoffs this year?”

So long as he’s not out there breaking laws and being uncivil to people, you don’t need to confront him on every topic.

But you also needn’t agree with him.

That's a good little snowflake.

Stop talking to him.

Educate him as best you can. Love him with all your heart. Forgive him when he messes up.

I mean in the actual footage, Derek kept shifting his knee. If you did any research, you'd know that. If anything, he could've been charged with manslaughter if anything, but to charge him with second degree murder or anything would imply you can read his mind and knew what his intent was. The only reason they convicted him was because they're scared of the riots which will happen no matter what the verdict would have been, anyway. Derek was a bad cop, I agree. But if you can't even legitimately prove the charges, there's really no case due to reasonable doubt and I've listened to lawyers talk about this case saying that and even judges saying things. Your dad doesn't sound racist, he just did his research is all. The part about Arabs I think is dumb, too, but he's allowed to have his own opinions. If you're gonna hate your dad for thinking differently than you, you're an immature child.

Yes, I have advice.. we can't choose our parents! You are not your dad, you aren't responsible for his views, you don't have to like them and you can say so... but your relationship is so much more than this..

First of all the people calling you a snowflake or anything along them lines are too narrow sighted to gauge the deeper problem here and reduce everything to "liberalism" which speaks volumes. Pay them no mind.

As for your dad, that's tricky and difficult to escape. Sometimes my parents say shit that frustrates me and I've learned that no amount of disputing does anything to change their stance. You're clashing heads with programming that runs deeper than their upbringing. It's an entire system that they defend without even really understanding the implications of it.

Plant seeds of thought while you're under the same roof, doing this is challenging him without draining yourself or your peace of mind.

Or avoid the conversations with him all together if it spares you the headache.

One thing I've taken away is if I can't work against someone, I work around them. Do this until you have the means to leave and when you do leave you'll have a better understanding of whether you want that toxicity in your life in doses or even at all.

You know what? I don’t care anymore. I give up. This world is an awful place.

The knee didn’t kill that guy . Your dad likely remembers 9/11 where “ Arabs” attacked this country and killed over 3000 Americans and destroyed the World Trade Center . Some people hold grudges 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Having a different opinion than you doesn't make your dad "racist," a term so overused it no longer has any meaning. Grow the f*ck up.

I would leave the room and double my efforts to get out on my own.

Rascism is not based in logic so logical arguments usually don't persaude the individual not to be so.

Not much you can do. People on here commenting that you have to stop talking to him or something, but that wouldn't help anyway. 🤷‍♂️ Hope he stops being racist, but don't hold your breath.

Listen to Dad

You are not going to be able to have a rational conversation with your dad about this issue. You, however, are not required to listen to his racist rants. Make that clear to him. I'm sure you two can find some topic you'll both agree on.

Pretend he didn't offend you and swallow your pride. Do not try to change his mind. Then once you are independent, distance yourself until you feel comfortable, up to and including zero contact, if that's what it takes. Good luck.

People have their opinion. As long as it's just his thoughts, it can be changed. He can be changed. If he is actually doing something a racist would do in action like actively participating against a person because of their race and have done so perviously then I can understand your hate. But you are young. Don't judge people just because they want to prove their point right and it seemed supporting a racist. It may seem wrong but your dad is just have something up his mind, probably something happened in his past that he wasn't able to defend, and now be subconsciously trying to defend the guilty to prove a lost fight. And he has his insecurities about Arabs. So it's nothing. Life is a lesson we keep changing and learning. Help him see your point and try to see his point even if it makes your blood boil. 😅

Get your own place. Then you won't have to listen to him

we don't do enough in this country to encourage wonen to become finanically independent. it's like some men are too insecure and think you wont want us if you don't need our money. my advice? Find a way to get your own income and get out.

Ugh it's hard. Even reading some of the comments in response to you is hard. He's being a jerk about it, and that makes it hard for you. But at the same time, he's the only dad you've got. You want to try to keep your relationship with him if you can.

I don't know if I could do it. I might end up storming off several times. But if you can, here's what I recommend. Instead of getting angry, try to get at what's behind his comments, and then what's behind that. Behind everyone's racism is fear, and fear is a common human emotion. Try to get at what the real concern is, like he's worried that the riots are tearing down our nation or something. And then find the parts of those deeper feelings that you can agree with.

"You know what dad, I'm really worried about the riots too. I think a lot of the rioters and especially looters are not people who are concerned about racial justice at all. But why do you think those riots are happening? Do you think there is anything that could happen to you where you would ever think things are so bad that you would have to riot?"

I don't know. Maybe something like that can work. If not, just try to keep your patience and walk away when you have to. I'm sorry you have to put up with that crap. Good luck!

Try looking at the majority of responses you are getting, try to think of what they are trying to ell you, a smart person will accept the truth of education of people with experience a liberal will only deny and follow the typical brainwashing they have had from fake news and liberal education.

If you are face down on pavement, you need to have no weight on your neck and minimal weight on your back. If you have a full-grown adult male kneeling on your back, you will slowly suffocate to death. Your dad wants to make the argument that Chauvin wasn't kneeling on Floyd's neck? OK, let's suspend reality for a second.
1) He was kneeling on his neck and thus murdered him quickly OR
2) He was kneeling on his back and thus murdered him *slowly*

Murder is murder. But wouldn't a quick death be just a tad better than a slow death?

If we believe your dad's argument, then not only was Floyd murdered...but he was done so in a slow, extra-cruel manner.

As for your father not believing Floyd was murdered. Yes, there are plenty of stupid people in the world. You can't cure stupid. So you need to learn to live with him as he is. My best advice is to not discuss this case with your dad, ever. Don't talk about any subjects which you know are touchy, because of your father's views. If he's constantly throwing garbage at you (his radical opinions) you might have to cut contact with him for a while. For your own sanity.


What bothers me is, many people seem to be under the impression that the verdict is supported by liberals and panned by conservatives. I'm very conservative. I also have a brain. You deprive a human being of oxygen for almost 9 minutes, and the outcome is... predictable. This was a clear case of attempted murder. Considering a death resulted, it was also a clear case of murder.

The only other thing that confuses me is, why was this not charged as 1st degree? Does wearing a badge while killing someone make it suddenly "not as bad"????

Have you had a calm and reasoned conversation with him yet? If he can't see your point of view after one, then ask him politely to refrain from those kind of comments in your presence as you don't agree with him. I'm not saying that he is wrong and you are right or vide-versa but if you don't reasonably call him out when he makes comments like that he'll never know how much it upsets you.

Have you asked him to show you the angle?

I'd have to get out of there

You had your own preconceived idea just like he did. You didn't see the evidence provided in court. What if he was not guilty? Would you have been upset? Would you have said some things he would have felt were anti-cop?

People will say strong things about this verdict, but no one really knows a damned thing except what their opinions were. The jury saw the evidence and made the best choice with the information in front of them. If it went the other way, there would have been riots, looting and civil disorder.

Wow ... that is quite a lot of discussion.

▪The officer was railroaded

▪The evidence at trial was irrelevant to the charges ... it was a show

▪For the most part, the MN prison system will move him to parole

▪He just had to sit there and watch the show

The show was about politics ... not justice

It was silly from the start.

It is silly now

Please do not think you are better than your dad ... both you and him deserve a better outcome

If you believe yourself morally superior to people ... rethink it

I think you’re dad isn’t a racist I think he’s just giving his observation

Marry a POC, have some cute babies, he’ll get over it real quick...

He's still your dad. You have to try to persuade him to change his way of thinking but don't disown your father because maybe he was raised up with that mentality.

He is who he is accept it. You are racist also just in a different way, just like BLMs, LGBTs and many others.

My tactic with racist (among other things) in my family is grin and bear it until I can leave and don't have to be around them. But I'm scared of confrontation so maybe that isn't good advice.

Move out and stop living under his money

He might just be very factually minded and stubborn, doesn't believe everything he hears and sees until he knows everything. It's hard for people who think more emotionally to understand someone whos more pragmatic (you see it in politics a lot).

In other words, I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt. Kind of a stupid hill to die on but its quite a conclusion to jump to.

He might be saying ridiculous things but at the end of the day he’s your Dad.

If you want to part ways with your family over shit on the news, go for it. You’ll probably live to regret it.

I can understand how unpleasant it is to be close to someone like that and I certainly don't blame you for how you feel at the moment. But family bonds can't so easily be broken.

Funny how so many SWeeps seem to know your old man so much better than you do