Any one here has divorced a narcissist ? [I Need Advice]

It’s been a difficult 22 years and then it turned into a nightmare when I finally left !
I finally realized that he classifies and a malignant narcissist
He doesn’t play by the rules
He steals
He cheats and he lies and the law doesn’t seem to know how to deal with him.
The Covid and the chaos has not been helping
I feel like I’m in war against the MOB!!!
Does anyone have any advice for me ?
I feel like I’m about to loose my mind .

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OogieBoogie · F

Ugh!

UGGGHHHH!

[b]I KNOW THIS EXACT SITUATION AND FEELING! [/b] except it was 20 years for me.

The insanity of the thoughts that invade from conditioned thinking of always compensating for them, adapting, living on high alert ALL the time!

Have you crashed yet?

I'm seeking help... And I have two concepts that have helped.... A bit... So far.

1. Live in the moment: when thoughts happen of the past or the future - dispel them - now is all that matters.

2. You are NOT responsible for them! Let them bullshit, lie and steal - that's them!..

...NOT YOU.

And on a personal note: be kind to yourself - which i know is the most foreign of concepts!
But practice letting yourself be lazy sometimes, be imperfect, and let yourself find peaceful moments in the 'now'.

I know the UNREAL nightmare of this!
Learn to look after YOU - and resist thinking if them - it's a downward spiral...

..and they will keep throwing shit your way... But don't look back, don't contemplate their actions on you.... Just love your moments of freedom you have from them now.

I get this # I've moved out - yet their punishment doesn't stop.

But you are free-er than you
Have been for years!

Feel it when you can 😘🤗💜💋

Niloo · 46-50, F

@OogieBoogie
You have no idea how much better you made me feel .
I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you as well😳🤗
You know exactly how this is !
No one believes me
Even people who have known me all these years and have heard it all can’t understand me because they have never experienced anything like it .

Thank you
I really do feel much better after reading your comment 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Yes
I am still
Living on high alert all the time but , most days , I do feel more free and much less crushed and more worthy of being on earth 😊

Thanks for reminding me of that 🤗
Are you completely free from yours?

OogieBoogie · F

@Niloo hahahah free?

Physically removed and live somewhere else... But not totally free yet either.

Like you - he does shit that i swear,, when I tell others - their eyes go blank - they just can't believe someone would do that.

It's the stuff of crazy stories you see in movies or read in the paper!

Just when you think they've reached the utmost depths of cruelty - a few weeks (or less) later - they deliver something brand new, and even crueler.

And the pure art in which they deliver it!... No one knows except you!!!

Someone on here told Me once 'your nervous system can develop trained memory ': this is what trauma is.

Until very recently (2 weeks ago) ... i never considered myself traumatised.
But I had a sequence of events happen, that - after so much recovery - put my body into permanent 'fight or flight' mode. My blood pressure sky-rocketed to stroke levels, my resting heartbeat was near 100. What this did to my mind was scary to watch!
Yet all the time, there was a little piece of me in the back of my head, watching my body and brain spiral into panic.

It was crazy - I knew it was crazy - I knew it was unreal - but I couldn't stop it.

And all because my body has been trained to feel fear.

Because of him.

So no.... In many ways - I'm still not free, even though I am.

And I know YOU know EXACTLY what I mean.
💜

But im slowly getting there. 😊

Niloo · 46-50, F

@OogieBoogie
I do...
I’m so sorry
It’s almost like you are telling my story
I’m so glad you are out and away from him🤗
One step at a time !
You know what to do and how to get there
It just takes a little time 🤗🤗🤗