I Hate Myself

its hard being me when i cant stand myself i want to accomplish things but my mind tells me i cant do it i know that my boyfriend wants me to be the best i can be im trying to better myself for him and myself but i dont understand why would anyone want to be with me i have a feeling hes gonna leave me again soon if i cant prove myself to him that i can become an independent woman for him i still hate myself i dont know maybe i really am mentally ill