We live in a world of negatives which only takes.

We cry from the moment we’re born and endure the never ending march of time which demands everything from us. We must eat and sleep because the world starves and exhausts us. We must bleed and ache because the world injures and sickens us. Sometimes our tears are afflictions of our very soul. There’s no end to the amount of maladies we all face in our lifetimes. We do this until we grow old and our body stops working entirely. The end seeming to be our only mercy. My grandmother, a bitter old woman who grew up in the depression, has a piece of wisdom she would often repeat to me as a child. Her quote that she spat at me one last time on her deathbed, “You suffer, and then you die!” …It is undeniable that existence is suffering.

Still, I believe this is for a reason. It is what we’re meant to do. This is because it’s only through pain that we can find meaning. Good and bad. Bad meaning is found in exactly the way things are. In that world of negatives I just described. That world my grandmother, may god rest her soul, knew all too well. Bad meaning is found in reality. So then, what is good meaning? You might be guessing fiction, and… you’re right, but it doesn’t have to be seen as false. More like your personal truth that stands against reality.

Life is cruel, but the meaning we take from that doesn’t have to be. Everything is temporary, but our commitment can be everlasting. What I’m trying to say is that good meaning is found when you become the positive to an otherwise negative world. Every single negative thing that you know can only become a positive if you are. So the next time you want to talk about why something is a problem, understand that it is only so because you are. Nothing is a problem unless you think it is.

The world is wrong to us which is why we can be the only right, however, this is only possible for those who make the world happen instead of having it happen to them. If you live under the world’s terms, you will share its negativity, but if you live under your own terms, the world will share your positivity. So you should never attach your self worth to external factors. One who doesn’t know their own value will always fail. It takes suffering to learn this lesson which is why life will give you nothing but that until you do.

For all his bluster, for all his influence in a world that belongs to him, it was much to Satans anguish in vehement denial that all his evil would only serve good in the end. For it was God who made him, not he who made God. Just as it must be you to make the world, not the world to make you.

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OogieBoogie · F

It is amazing how perspective can alter a 'bad' thing to something 'not so bad', if 'bad' at all.
We dwell so much on the difficulties, it can become a habit. Some get so used to only looking at the negative....they see nothing else.

Some dwell on particular negatives to such an extent they become part of their identity.

I've been in that place, where you feel you are at the bottom of a well and there seems no way out: every step forward slips half way back ..... and you feel your efforts are infinitesimal.

But even infinitesimal is something .

And i believe it is things like this, we are here to learn. Adversity is what changes us....strengthens us. Makes our souls grow.

If life was this breezy happy little ride - we'd learn nothing. We are lazy by nature....esp emotionally lazy..

I wonder if the easier life gets, the more potential we have to become ignorant and selfish?🤔

Also - always love your inner mental meanderings.
Some people just regurgitate ideas they read.
With you, its always a thought with an original spark. Even if its a known idea, you tell it with the fervour of personal felt truth ....inner innate comprehension☺️

Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Perspective is everything. I always say you can’t go wrong with more perspective. Even if it’s perspective you don’t want, it will serve to help find the one you do.

Yes, I find it to be no secret that negativity is the stronger force in this world. There was intent when I said it belongs to Satan. It only makes sense to see so many of us consumed by it and they cannot see the purpose in it as you can Boogie.

What you’re describing with an easy life is complacency and it is definitely a bad thing. Too much of anything is bad. Which is why I try to tell people who have good lives to work on improving things anyways to retain their ability to adjust because everything changes. No matter how perfect your life is, that can and will be taken from you and those who fear this are facing the problem of those who rest on their laurels, which is the inability to adapt to things beyond their control in a healthy way.

Thank you though! 🥰 I have this arguably bad habit of avoiding things like self help books or the philosophies of others because I have this fear of being unoriginal. As you said simply regurgitating what I’ve heard without much understanding of my own. So I make it a point to think of solutions on my own and I’ve been surprised more than once with just how many others have already figured that out. 😂 They even have the official terms and names for it! It does make me wonder how much I’ve missed without a formal education in college.

OogieBoogie · F

@Reject oh i dunno. I dont think ypuve missed much .

One can be toldsomething, or given the answers - and never really comprehend it.

Its been proven that to fully 'get' something, one often has to go through the neural physicality of 'realizing it for themselves': that 'eureka' moment.

So i don't think youve missed out.

You have an enquiring mind. And that's more valuble than a formal education. You wont ever stop learing and tweaking and changing what you know.
Information changes.
And not all information is valid for all people.
Plus, sometimes we come across ideas that we get to comprehend on deeper levels at different times of life .

Personally, im not super keen on 'correct terminology'. Take bipolar for example: it used to be called 'Manic/Depressive disorder. (Which i think is a brilliant name for it as its a term that describes it). Bipolar is just soft word for something worse.
Same as 'ptsd. It was once initially 'shell shock' .
And shell shock is more descriptive of how it affects people than ptsd,(which i dislike myself)

I think its way better to find your own words and meaning (and then correlate others terms for it), than to just spew out terminologies with no full understanding.

Do you.

You're pretty good at it😏

Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie This is all very true. I can remember as a teenager someone I looked up to told me that happiness is a choice and at the time I felt he was right well out of his mind. I incorrectly attributed that statement to his already great life. I didn’t come to a deep appreciation for what he meant until much later in my life. I was the given the answer, but I did not comprehend it.

Yes! That neural physicality is a good way to put it. I endeavor to try explaining things in a way that is easy enough to follow my logic and understand because answers without the equation to reach them can serve to only frustrate those who haven’t gotten there yet.

Information does change! Terminology and everything. I appreciate all you’re saying Boogie and it does help me feel a bit better about being a high school drop out. People tend to discredit those without an education but as you say it’s not necessarily one that leads people to true knowledge. It’s the enquiring mind that wants it. A formal education is meant to help, but it’s not needed. You can find a way no matter your circumstances. It’s always the journey and not the destination which counts.

My favorite song in high school was Gavin DeGraw - I Don’t Want To Be. I used to sing that in the cushioned quiet room of mental hospitals in my little jacket after they forced various medications into me because I had always been myself and that wasn’t appreciated within those walls. I was told I was sick and needed treatment because I didn’t conform. So no worries Boogie! I’ll always be me.

OogieBoogie · F

@Reject ohMyGoodness .

I just looked that song up.

Totally forgotten about it.

So weird - i feel its words very differently now.
Huh.... what a thing to happen 😊
I can relate to it VERY much now🤗

How serendipitous such small brief connections can be .... that's going on my playlist 👍

Thanks man🤗

I never knew you was certifiably crazy ?

Congrats....its a lonesome road to travel , but if ya do that crazy right..... it's a gift in the end.

Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Hey! Glad I could reintroduce you to such a meaningful song of my life. Serendipity indeed. I love that it relates more profoundly to you now too. Case and point. Can never go wrong with more perspective. It’s all useful, even if we don’t understand how or why just yet.

Oh yes, I spent a large part of high school in multiple mental hospitals. Some temporary, others residential. During my senior year I was so much of a problem I was being threatened with asylum at the residential psyche ward I was staying at. A fact about me that people are surprised to learn is that I had to win a jury trial convincing the court of my sanity or I would’ve likely been sent to an asylum. Winning that was the only reason I got out of there. If I hadn’t, I don’t know where I’d be today. For a very long time, I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t have won, maybe such a place was where I belonged. Even now I’m still a bit neurotic sometimes, but at least I’m better than I ever was!

OogieBoogie · F

@Reject its really HARD when you don't conform to what other people think 'normal' is.

Your story is a sad rendition and example of why divergent thinkers are recluses - its just too hard to make conditioned thinkers, think beyond the box they are in.

And worse - watch them and listen to them say, "its the way things are - deal with it" . When you know 'the way things are'... is totally dysfunctional 🙄

But then you realize, in a way, they are right: deal with it .

Ya cant change it, or them....only yourself 🤷‍♀️

Man, that's a HUGE thing to have done .
It completely supports why i DON'T see a therapist any more .....im done seeing my 'function' as 'dysfunction', juz coz they tell me it is😏

Ive decided my soul is more important than their standardised, socialized opinion.
And....that if they 'knew' my true reality as i see it , id prolly be pushed mind altering drugs too.

The only way out is thru .

And I know you wre one of the few who truly 'gets' this.

You've come a massive distance my friend.

And in so few years!

Its rather impressive. I was still young, impulisve, and adamant at your age🙄😏

Still....for all that, or rather because of that, you must feel. ... apart from your own peers😕.

Unrelatable to your own generation ?

Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Yes, I won’t touch mental health institutions of any kind with a ten foot pole and the hell I went through with my previous experiences in them is the biggest part of why. All these labels convincing people there’s something wrong with them so you can sell them drugs just feels so wrong to me. I know there are those of us who truly can’t function in society but they are a shockingly small minority compared to the amount of patients in those places.

For this reason I don’t really believe in mental illness, just various ways to explain your unique quirks in thinking that make you, you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not an illness. It’s the special pattern of thought you were made with that’s beautiful and worth appreciating. Your individuality is to be praised and celebrated. Not condemned and oppressed with “medicine” meant to suppress it. In this we struggle and need help and that’s completely normal. Though they wouldn’t have you believe that. They would say it’s abnormal and you shouldn’t be like this. Anyways…

The only way out is through! I like the thought of young Boogie with impulsive adamancy. I meet people like that everyday with my job and they’re always fun in their own way. Lol. I think I went through a lot of things that accelerated my maturity but also crippled many parts that help people be “normal”. I don’t really get along with much of anyone. My generation or otherwise.

OogieBoogie · F

@Reject yeah.
i thought so .

Still, your mind is a highly beautiful and irrittating thing to me 🤪

If that's any consolation 😂

Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Irritating! 🤣 That better be in a good way! I am consoled though. Nothing is beautiful and nothing else, so to be seen for that extra isn’t a bad thing.

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Reject · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Lol! I love that role I have for you. I’ll take care to not misuse it. ♥️ I’ve had many nights when my brain begs to throw in the towel because I’ve exhausted it beyond fathoming. It probably feels like you do. I apologize for that.

Sometimes? 🤨 No, I’m kidding. 😄 No matter my intent, no matter how much I may or may not help, no one knows you better than you. You will always have better answers than my own for your life as we are different people. As such though, we can only hope to speak to each others souls. Our true selves. In that we have understanding of one another. In that we can trust in each other and empathize our solutions as a team.