I just.. don't want to exist

I don't necessarily have a good reason. I just feel like not existing. I'm a very empathetic person so I'm always there for my friends and family, even strangers. And I know my suicideness isn't anything good and that I should seek for help or talk to someone. I just..can't? I don't know how to open up to people, I don't trust anyone with such things. So I just keep going on and do what I have to do whilst still am there for others. But I'm so tired. I'm only 21. I just needed to write it down somewhere.

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someoneuusedtoknow

Dear, I used to feel like you, always helping others, always being there for them and so on... It is extremely exhausting for us emphatic people to constantly care, constantly worry, constantly listen to others, it can overwhelm our well-being and put us in very depressing state of mind.
I used to wanting to end everything, tried professionals but as you just described it, "I just, can't...."
I kept on going and at some moment thoughts of wanting to disappear were just gone and now it is just existence, without feeling much you know...
What kept me in life is some "hope" that something in my life should happen that I deserve and from which I will be truly happy, for once in my life.
Still it did not happen but I am still waiting for it. It is what keeps me alive...
Keep fighting it and believe.
My prayers go to you.

Fiveohiguess · 22-25, F

@someoneuusedtoknow thank you! Stay safe!