Are you an introvert? Do you try to change yourself for everyone to like you?

I constantly turn down the plans my friends make and this has made me less appealing socially. Sometimes it is a struggle to go and try to enjoy when you really dont want to

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cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

I lean towards introversion. I can take people in small doses. I don’t like to party with a group, prefer a quiet dinner with a few friends for example. I don’t like being around people, even the ones I enjoy being around, all the time. I need a break to sit and think quietly. I have met people who were friends who would try to push me to get out and go every day and it’s too much for me. I like to have a good time and get out but not all the time. It’s chaotic to me to run here and there and not spend more time at home.

PhoenixPhail · M

@cherokeepatti I have all of this in common with you.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@PhoenixPhail I’m not a people-hater. But am very particular about who I want to hang out with. Probably due to narcissists in my family and ones I’ve met at jobs etc. I don’t have a tolerance for selfishness or pushiness by anyone any longer. I like laid-back casual people that I don’t have to be on guard about and can just be myself.

PhoenixPhail · M

@cherokeepatti I'm not a people-hater, either. Not at all. I really love people. But I have a hard time spending time with them, especially a whole lot of them at once. People think I'm anti-social because I isolate so much. But I'm only non-social. And, I do have a hard time opening up to people due to trauma from narcissistic abuse and betrayal. I'm not on guard when I'm alone, but can easily get triggered into guarded-ness with others.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@PhoenixPhail yeah same way. It was narcissistic abuse from an early age on with family members, so much chaos and having to be on guard and manipulativeness and their flying monkeys to support them. I want genuine people around me who don’t play those power games and create chaos.

PhoenixPhail · M

@cherokeepatti That's what I want around me, too. Sometimes, it's hard for me to find those people who don't play power games and create chaos. I've seen several of them on SW. I blocked one just a couple days ago. I always try to work things out with people and give them the benefit of the doubt, etc., but some people are so insistent on arguing and playing the right/wrong game, the only practical thing I can do is leave them.

“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
― George Bernard Shaw