Any women here ever cold-approach men? Instead of the other way around? What about cold approaching other women?

What sort of results? Do the men (or the women) being approached freak out? Do they react oddly when caught unawares (unless there's been flirting going on)? Or do they melt into the moment and revel in actually receiving some positive sexual attention?

Does it tend to bring the women doing it better results than if they waited for people to cold-approach them? There's a heap of 'men no longer approach us' content in social media so just got me wondering.

Does it make any difference if women cold-approach other women as compared to approaching men? Do women approach other women differently to how they would approach men with flirtatious intentions?

I would presume it's a lot easier for a woman to approach another women and a lot more likely to lead to positive outcomes just because it instantly removes or at least significantly waters down any 'guardrails' that the approached women might have related to men approaching them.

Never had a woman approach me so I have zero experience with this to know what it would be like as the 'approachee' ie 'target' of a woman's desires.

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Maturebate · 70-79, M

You ask interesting questions. I have wondered the same so i cold approached a lesbian to see how she made contact. It seems in their community wearing black stockings was a signal between interested ladies. She would invite them to afternoon tea ... And the fun begins.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@Maturebate Ok I have to ask the obvious - how did you know the person was a lesbian? To me, I usually can't tell as I don't do body language, choosing signals, and things like that, very well.

Maturebate · 70-79, M

@zonavar68 Her responses seemed genuine enough, but can we ever be sure of anything these days? Gut instinct is useful but not infallible. We shared stories for several days. I was genuinely interested in the lesbian experience . She was an older woman looking for younger ladies and thought she could enlighten me.

Waveney · 41-45, M

I've had a couple of cold approaches by women. But I have no idea if they're actually women or not, so it's an automatic block, especially if their groups are full of sex and/or discipline.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@Waveney I think a guy would find it very confronting and put his 'walls' up in most situations, especially if the girl doing the approaching is part of a group hanging out and drinking together, as it could just be a drunk dare and not serious.

On the other hand, if a woman who was by herself, or with another girl and it was just them, maybe it could be nice as then the guy gets to talk to two girls off-the-cuff and providing they are single and not being set up by their partners who are hiding in the background, maybe that'd be positive.

I never do bars/clubs and if I go to a pub I'm either with my 8 y/o daughter and meeting other folks with their kids, or something like that. I've long given up going to pubs on my own when I don't have any drive to have a group of friends. I haven't done that since I met my second ex 13 yrs ago and never went back to it when I became single again because now there is no value in lurking as a loner at the local pub.

swirlie · 31-35, F

I have cold-approached men since I was a teenager!

Here's the thing though... I was born and raised in Canada which like the USA, has social hangups within both cultures that are left over from British Colonial days which got passed on from one generation to the next, but not actually diverging away from that old conservative Victorian Era which proclaimed that sex is bad.

Fortunately for me, my parents are Scandinavian who immigrated to Canada as married teenagers before my sisters and I were born and with them they brought their very open-minded, very liberalized attitude toward sex. My sisters and I were subsequently raised within a Scandinavian cultural environment, which I describe as a tiny nucleolus found floating around within otherwise Canadian, ex-British conservatism.

In Scandinavian countries, girls approach guys in bars. Girls ask guys out. Girls ask guys if they'd like to spend the night with them.

In British Colonial North America, guys are suppose to approach girls in bars, guys are suppose to be the one who asks a girl out and guys are suppose to ask the girl if she wants to spend the night with him.... all of which is the opposite of Scandinavian culture.

What I was taught was the Scandinavian cultural way, despite trying to navigate the stupidity of what was leftover from what remains of British Colonialism in Canada as I grew through my adolescent years. Having said that, I have always asked guys out... and they have always said yes, without exception.

They only said "yes" because they were too shocked at my forward behavior to turn me down in the moment and therefore, they didn't really know how to respond to my forward advancements because they thought I was out of line in asking them in the first place.

But again, they were only responding to what their North American culture had taught them, which of course is what their parents were taught as well.

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