I made a previous post about a guy who studies the Torah, age 33 soon and a virgin. It's an online relationship, never met him yet. I told him my experiences with two people and it made me cry. Now fast forward, we still talking but yesterday morning after a night of me saying, i still "sometimes wish i could go back to my ex because he wouldn't ask me these questions cause it would be pure," he lost it. I told him the morning our last interaction was in January sexually and he left. I deactivated my instagram cause that's how we communicate. He reached out on my number 2 hrs after asking me to return to Instagram, i did. He then said he wants to be friends snd wants to do bible study cause it will help me get over my ex so I can be free for my future husband. I agreed.
This morning now he said he met up last night with his ex to cuddle an kiss. And that he was planning this morning to have sex with her and got a box of condoms! Mind you, this is a girl he says he can't consider for a wife cause she does not believe in God. They were off for a little of 2 months, i started talking to him in September. Thisbis a gurl he had an agreement with to do oral sex but he never had full on sex with....
We started saying i love yous etc. But he thinks i am attached to my first ex and this guys "owns" my heart. He also has hangups as a virgin. I am into this person and want him but I've had to bare my soul snd such.
I spoke to someone about this and they feel him running to her hours after is a red flag. He actually told me too which hurts a great deal.
I see you carrying shame regarding your past love life .. Be grateful you got to experience love, no matter if it wasn't perfect. He's trying to shame you too, so he'll feel better in his situation. He doesn't like it when you say, you're going to teach him. Why though, he can take it more lightly, more jokingly. He's carrying many complexes, he's got a LOT of stuff to figure out. We all have things and baggage and things to figure out, but don't set yourself up for a subtle war...it feels like it...?
From what I remember from your last post he judged you quite harshly about your past experiences and you seemed in doubt that he would even want to stay with you or be able to trust you. Thought you had some pretty good advice on that post about the warning signs he was exhibiting in his behavior. And it sounds like things are only getting worse. It's a telling enough start to justify ending things but that's on you. You seem to be feeding it a bit.
Oh girl. I'm sorry you feel connected to this person because you bared your soul to him. From what I'm seeing in the texts, he doesn't feel connected to you. He doesn't trust you, he's childish, and he says "whatever" WAY too much. This is not whatever. It's important to you.
As a 33 yo Torah student, he may be very inexperienced with women, and I don't mean sex, I mean interacting with and treating us like normal human beings.
@rrraksamam yeah, he legit said we should be friends before he did it. Told me this in the morning, wanted to do bible stufy only with me and then did whatever in the night
@LoneGirl101 The signs are all there for you. Take the cue.
I understand. You're in love. You're hesitant to throw it all away. You're hopeful. You're wishful. You don't want to watch all your feelings and emotions and effort go down the drain so quickly.
But he needs to want you as much as you want him. He needs to understand you as much as you understand him. And if he doesn't, you're on the Titanic. Put your life vest on, get on the rescue boat and don't look back. Yes, it's going to hurt. But the longer this goes on, the more pain you can expect. What's your endurance?
@LoneGirl101 So, within less than a month, you started communicating with a 33 year old, who claims to be a virgin, but is still sleeping with his ex (??) GF for blow jobs, and bought condoms.
@ArtieKat I'm apostolic and was planning on studying the torah. I'm apart of groups too. My mom heavilt believes from a long time ago, we should practice the sabbath
@LoneGirl101 I hadn't read your previous post - I had made the assumption that if he was studying the torah that he must be Jewish. I apologise for my mistake
