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He might just be a INTJ. We don't open up too quickly, and it has alot of false starts.
[media=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9XlioDYop8I&pp=ygUNTXIgRGFyY3kgSU5USg%3D%3D]
It isn't as simple as love at first sight, there are a few cognitive barriers that have to be crossed, each one being a very different kind of assessment of the prospect. It's not uncommon for INTJs to spend months talking online before meeting someone.
Mr. Darcy is rated as the one romantic figure in English literature all women desire, for whatever reason (I think it's just the money cause I don't have women lining up for me), but the thing is, it takes more than a cup of tea and a sweet smile to win over a Mr. Darcy.
If we ever had relationship pain from a bad former relationship, we are going to be trying to assess and weed such future people out as well. Only reason I know so mucj about Mr. Darcy was because I had a girlfriend obsessed with him, and I noticed we were pretty much the same and all the MBTI confirms it. Just she was no Keira Knightly. Nice looking, but she wasn't of that mentality. So I'm always paranoid "Will she just be like her again? Will I be hopelessly in love but absolutely miserable and distraught feom her narrow minded selfishness and inability to meaningfully connect outside of physical contact?"
So even if I feel obsessed with a woman I'm not pursuing her. She better be in my social circle (which is none existent) or we keep bumping into one another.
[media=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9XlioDYop8I&pp=ygUNTXIgRGFyY3kgSU5USg%3D%3D]
It isn't as simple as love at first sight, there are a few cognitive barriers that have to be crossed, each one being a very different kind of assessment of the prospect. It's not uncommon for INTJs to spend months talking online before meeting someone.
Mr. Darcy is rated as the one romantic figure in English literature all women desire, for whatever reason (I think it's just the money cause I don't have women lining up for me), but the thing is, it takes more than a cup of tea and a sweet smile to win over a Mr. Darcy.
If we ever had relationship pain from a bad former relationship, we are going to be trying to assess and weed such future people out as well. Only reason I know so mucj about Mr. Darcy was because I had a girlfriend obsessed with him, and I noticed we were pretty much the same and all the MBTI confirms it. Just she was no Keira Knightly. Nice looking, but she wasn't of that mentality. So I'm always paranoid "Will she just be like her again? Will I be hopelessly in love but absolutely miserable and distraught feom her narrow minded selfishness and inability to meaningfully connect outside of physical contact?"
So even if I feel obsessed with a woman I'm not pursuing her. She better be in my social circle (which is none existent) or we keep bumping into one another.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@Motzu Not every INTJ is this extreme as the movie.
I'm a INTJ by the way. And my reasons are a bit different than what you give or what this video clip shows.
I take the reverse approach. Why shouldn't the women be the one's foreword?
It's a societal approach that few psychologist wish to take. Mostly because it would disrupt the whole society.
Psychologist pretend that what exists is best for the society. It's a wrong approach though.
The majority is rarely ever right. It's the society that should change.
You're not out of your class or social circle. Because society has defined the circle.
And psychologist strive to keep it that way.
I'm a INTJ by the way. And my reasons are a bit different than what you give or what this video clip shows.
I take the reverse approach. Why shouldn't the women be the one's foreword?
It's a societal approach that few psychologist wish to take. Mostly because it would disrupt the whole society.
Psychologist pretend that what exists is best for the society. It's a wrong approach though.
The majority is rarely ever right. It's the society that should change.
You're not out of your class or social circle. Because society has defined the circle.
And psychologist strive to keep it that way.
496sbc · 36-40, M
@Fish2fry90 and i would / i have persued women and ones i liked for years. id even die for a gal who loves me
butterflybaby75 · 46-50, F
GohantheThird · M
@butterflybaby75 if they block you everywhere and no one will talk to you about her, that's when you should give up.
GohantheThird · M
It depends on the guy and his situation. Most guys hesitate because they don't want to come across as desperate or needy. He's probably had issues in the past and that's why he's hesitant. He might also be looking for signs of interest rather than just pursuing you senselessly. Hard to say honestly...
Spoiledbrat · F
@GohantheThird That's overthinking it.
GohantheThird · M
@Spoiledbrat fair point, but it's either that or she's friendzoned and I'd be more hopeful for the overthinking.
ReneeT · 61-69, M
Maybe he's a little shy about it, or he maybe thinks she is giving him some signs that she is interested. 🤔
SomeMichGuy · M
He is very shy or introverted (happens a lot)...
OR
The speed differential when they run.
OR
The speed differential when they run.
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
Unless she is telling him to stop he can take as long as he wants!
LustAndMadness · 51-55, M
Because the girl is worth it.
Spoiledbrat · F
@LustAndMadness That's love.
AJMoore1984 · 36-40, F
Some men (people) like to take things slow.
anythingoes477 · M
He's a loser???