Bf and I had a talk last night about how neither of us really believe in monogamy

We came from primates. Most primates are not monogamous. We are capable of being attracted to and in love with more than one person at a time.

When I first met him, I brought up the fact that I was in a poly relationship years ago, and it worked for 6 years til the guy became a total d_ick. He wasn't receptive to the idea back then. But when I brought it up again last night, he actually said he agrees with me, and that if I ever met someone I wanted to explore something with, he would be okay with that. I told him the same!!!

Believe it or not, it has brought us closer and made us WAY more affectionate and se_xual with each other! We both hate the idea of being trapped in monogamy forever just because we love one another and want to build a life together. We can still do that while having our individual relationships with other people outside our relationship. Our only rules- don't bring anyone to our home, NO BABIES, and everyone must be safe and disease free.

I'm so relieved and happy we had that talk!!!!

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Wallflow3r

Me and my hubby were just talking about how we think it’s so weird that some people have open marriages he is highly against it, he does not share haha.. But hey if it’s floats both your guys boat then cool but those kind of relationships don’t usually work out and not good if you have children in the picture.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@Wallflow3r I've had countless monogamous relationships. They rarely work out either lol.

Wallflow3r

@DearAmbellina2113 I just look at it this way if you guys are agreeing to an open relationship, the relationship is already failed. It’s pretty much a poor excuse on staying together for back up but in reality you want to be with other people, when you love someone you only want ONE person not all his friends and your neighbors. 😂😂 Most people will just view you as a village bicycle and as for your bf or whatever he is.. the chances that he actually even takes the relationship seriously is slim , even if he swears by it he is lying to himself .. but you are right regular relationships can fail too. 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is just my opinion I don’t mean offense by it but this is just what I believe about these certain things. We are all different and have different views maybe it is that way maybe it isn’t.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@Wallflow3r we are building a life together and very much love each other. We're secure enough in our relationship to get some of our physical needs met by people outside our relationship, yet always come home to each other. To me, that's TRUE love instead of the ownership mentality that monogamy fosters. We're not together because we have to be. We're CHOOSING to put eachother first and support each other in finding other partners who may be able to fulfill needs that we cannot provide for each other.

Wallflow3r

@DearAmbellina2113 I hope this works out for you and him. Thanks for sharing a very different perspective on what a relationship can be. 😇

Northwest · M

@DearAmbellina2113 [quote] we are building a life together and very much love each other. We're secure enough in our relationship to get some of our physical needs met by people outside our relationship, yet always come home to each other. To me, that's TRUE love instead of the ownership mentality that monogamy fosters. We're not together because we have to be. We're CHOOSING to put eachother first and support each other in finding other partners who may be able to fulfill needs that we cannot provide for each other.[/quote]

While @Wallflow3r is projecting her own prejudices on your relationship, just like various relationship types, monogamy has also evolved and "ownership" is not necessarily part and parcel.

I cringe when I hear "I'm flattered, but I can't do it, because I'm single". That's ownership. It should "I'm flattered, but I can't do it, because there's only one partner for me, as I am for them".