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Church attempt

I've really been struggling with attending church. I liked it for awhile, but then something starts feeling off and I quit going. Sometimes it all feels so forced and phony. Yes, I believe in God, but I am not sure church feels right for me. I enjoy people but I read between the lines and sense bs with a lot of folks. Maybe I'm just "to" sensitive or selfish but I truly don't like it.
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This is really something that if people are honest, we all struggle with because we can get lazy and I know I do and am, and when I don't feel good and I'm in chronic pain then no I'm not wanting to go as much as I love the Lord. He understands these moments. But now that I'm doing better with my pain, I really miss going to church to learn more about the Lord and I'm also miss the fellowship of the sweet people. Now I feel I can go and not hurt so bad because it's just been impossible and God understands all these things. I think it's important to go to church because the Bible says not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together in the body of Christ but the most important reason for me to go to church is that the Holy Spirit speaks through the minister and I need to hear and learn more about God and grow in him and increase my faith. I'm looking for a church home because our church closed down. I also want to sing for the Lord again, as that has been a special ministry for me and I've done it for years, singing specials before the church.

Some people say they don't go to church because of the people. I say I don't go to church because of the people. Or for them. But I do enjoy the fellowship and yes any church we go to there will be those whom we may not like or whom we think might be one way or another, but we're not there to worship or judge people...we are there to Worship the Lord and let the Lord handle whatever problems a certain person might have but also try to love and help that person, in and WITH love! And anywhere a person goes they're going to find hypocrites so ignore these people if that's the way they want to be and just make sure that we're living right for the Lord is what I say. There are phonies everywhere not just in church so I don't like that excuse that I hear from some. Our motive means everything for when we go to church. We're going for god, not the people. We can always pray for those who may be faking it. The Bible talks about in the last days that some will grow cold and stay away from the church and I never want to be that way and I pray I won't ever get that way. The church is very important and it is the body of Christ. It does send missions, financial aid and all. It is there to welcome those who need Christ. And all should be welcome no matter what. Our tithes to the Lord mean everything to him and therefore they mean everything to me. Our tithes go to his work and to support the body of Christ who worships there to pay bills, etc., and it cannot survive if only a few come. I'm lazy and I would like to stay home and watch Church on TV and I can do that if I want to but I will not be helping the church much. But that devil wants me to stay home and when I'm hurting like crazy then I do yes and I'm not going to be phony and sit there and be miserable when I can't even concentrate on the sermon if I'm ill. God knows our heart and when we just can't make it and he also knows when we are making excuses and we all do that too. I want to do better in that area. I want to support the church because it is the body of Christ and they are there for those seeking Christ. But I must find a church that teaches the pure word. The Lord said that's very important and to test the church and if they're not teaching exactly as what that Bible says, then it says to turn away and find a church that does.

There will be always be phonies or hypocrites wherever we go so that's really no excuse not to go to church, but the devil loves for us to use it as an excuse, but we can pray for these people and not allow them to keep us out of the church because I think that's even more phony, because we're not going for them... we're going for the Lord and to learn more about him. That's just my feelings about the whole thing. I just keep remembering that the Lord says if people don't go to church because there's Hypocrites or phonies, we should not be looking at these people, but just making sure that our hearts are right before the Lord. God will speak to those who are phony. These people really need our prayers. It's important to take our children to church as well, I don't care who says it's not. The Bible says to raise them up in the church and not to forsake them from hearing about Jesus. God in the church is the backbone of a marriage and he should always come first in all ways and in all decisions. And then we're also there in the church for those who are ill and need prayer and visitation in the hospital. We need Sunday school teachers. We need missionaries that we support through the church. It's just not a building. It is a hospital for those who are sin-sick, backslidden, weary, lonely, downtrodden, and feel rejected. I want to be there for those people and I want to give my very best service for the Lord until I go home. I pray God will help me do that. Some children who hear the word of the Lord when they go to church, grow up to be ministers. That's wonderful. There's none of us in the church that is better than the other. We all work together as the body of Christ and glorify his name and get his work done. Together We Are Family in the body of Christ. There's so many things we can do for the Lord through the church and it is sacred to him, as it is his body and Temple. And our body as Christians, is the Temple of the Lord that should be honored in all ways and most of all to always bring him glory. And then there's times when we can bring our friends or family that are lost, to church, to hear the gospel so that they might be saved if they are willing. And also God calls ministers to preach the gospel in his church. It's important to support their time and effort in the Lord. I do love hearing what the Holy Spirit has to say to me and my life and how I can improve through the sermons. And let's not forget that people in the church do encourage and lift each other up and help each other get through things. If we can't make it every Sunday I'm sure the Lord's not going to hold that against us. But some only go on Easter or Christmas. I just think it's more important than that. Some can't go at all because they are housebound or too ill and he understands that as well. Love you sister.
You are not "too sensitive or selfish". Not at all. And don't think there's anything wrong with you. There's not. Perhaps you just need to find a church that you really like and can relate to the pastor and all. If it feels off then it seems like there must be something wrong that is turning you off. Perhaps it's too ritualistic, I don't know. I do know that you love God with all your heart and he will help you in this area. Yes you can sense when something is off with a lot of folks. If you truly don't like it, give it a break, pray about it and just let the Lord lead. One should never feel forced to go to church. Just pray about it and see what the Lord says to your heart. You've gone through so much lately and have had so much on your plate that it's overflowing and perhaps you're just burned out and need a break from life and to just try and relax. Nothing wrong with that. I think you're burned out and overwhelmed with life in general. I think you're taking on too much. Please take care of yourself. Take your own time and don't rush into anything, including going to church when you just don't feel up to it or something feels wrong. God understands. I love you sister. I think you need a good break and vacation because there's too much going on at one time and you're overwhelmed with everything.

You know there was a time and I don't know how to explain this to you or anyone else, but there was a time and I'm not happy to say this or proud of it, but at the same time I wasn't going to be hard on myself. There was a time when I had to leave the church for a few years because it just became too much for me and too overwhelming and I don't even know how to explain that. But I could not be rushed or forced. I was gentle with myself though not pleased about it, but still gentle with myself and allowed myself that time and I knew that in time I would go back to church. But this was something I really needed to do for myself to keep my health. A time when just everything in my life was overwhelming me and I couldn't handle the forcing myself to do anything and God understood, just as he understands you.

I will be praying for you. I will always love you, sister. And I pray you'll always know and feel that I'm here for you without any judgments. ❤🫂
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I honestly understand. Been to many. But finally found a small historic church in a small community and it really hit hard as finally home. I look forward to every Sunday and I volunteer each week performing repairs and helping the maintenance guy with projects. He's like my apprentice as I'm teaching him how to fix things the right way and save money. The priest is very nice and personable.
@Livingwell I'm so very happy to hear that you found a church home that you love. That is so important. I'm looking for the same.
Strongtea · 22-25, M
I get you, I love being inside churches, they’re incredibly special, I love the worship and ritual and I really like 99% of the people, but I still find it really hard going sometimes.
@Strongtea That's honest. I think we all struggle with that at times and in fact I'm sure we do. God understands but it's really important to go to church when we can. I don't go to church for rituals however. I don't think church should be ritualistic. The Lord talked about not liking rituals, in his day. Just empty repetitiveness. I'm not saying that's what your church does, but he just wants our worship to come straight from our heart and be honest.
JustYourImagination · 56-60, F
Maybe, it's time to take a break from all of it. 🤔
You are not "too sensitive or selfish". You just find it hard to do fakery.🤗
Besides, you don't have to go to church to be close to God.🙂

Remember what Yeshua said. 🙂

John 4:20-24

I love you, sister. Always here for you.
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Matt85 · 36-40, M
you gotta find a good church where the pastor doesn't piss you off but makes you laugh, think and love.

 
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