Biblical discipline

@ArishMell I that's a massive generalisation which definitely wasn't true in our case. We were married nearly 18 years, still would be if my husband hadn't died. I instigated the DD and was extremely happy.

@ArishMell Spot on.

@PatientlyWaiting25 You’re the exception that proves the rule.

@RedBaron how do you know? Are you able to shine a spotlight onto all DD marriages? A lot of people seem to have lots of opinions about things they know diddly squat about.

@PatientlyWaiting25 No, but I know that domestic abuse and violence sometimes occurs when the husband is too controlling and forces the wife to be overly submissive.

@RedBaron Thats not proper domestic discipline. There will always be abusive men.

@PatientlyWaiting25 There will be, unfortunately (abusive women too though less commonly, or perhaps less talked about), and I oppose all forms of bullying.

That phrase "domestic discipline" worries me. Whilst I accept there are people who want or have been persuaded to take a very submissive, even subservient role as a spouse, I have not come across any convincing definition or description of the term as other than a euphemism for domestic abuse, be that physical, mental or social - or any thereof - of partners or children.

Such behaviour, where not wanted, is now recognised in UK law as the offence of "coercive and controlling behaviour". I do not know the situation in other countries apart from such behaviour being accepted or even encouraged in some.


By an odd coincidence, right now as I type there is an item on domestic abuse of children and how it is dealt with in Courts of Law, on the radio. Essentially it is about weaknesses in the legal system.

@ArishMell most domestic abuse cases don't use the term domestic discipline. At least I've never heard of that and have had many conversations on line with others who also shared the same lifestyle.

@PatientlyWaiting25 Maybe so, and I do accept there are couples who appear happy in that arrangement, but it still seems to have a dark side. I suppose the difficulty is the danger of it creeping from a consensual relationship to one of control.

@PatientlyWaiting25 I think you are right about the really abusive ones, or many of them anyway, not trying to excuse their behaviour; but they are very manipulative.

By no means all are wife-beaters though. They are cruel in other, non-physical ways.

@PatientlyWaiting25 DD is a sexual kink in some cases. I remember back in the Daryl Gates era, one of his sub chiefs (Gates was the Los Angeles police chief in the 80s and 90s), Robert Vernon, was also a pastor, and once gave a sermon about beating children with oars, and it was obvious that he derived sexual pleasure from seeing the welts appear on their skin. This was a long time ago and I can't find the article.

@LeopoldBloom there will always be sick individuals but it's more shocking when you discover that it's a pastor.

@PatientlyWaiting25 Not shocking for me. Vernon never lacked for churches to invite him as a speaker.