Why I can not sleep imagining someone is breastfeeding me?

I am insomniac and introvert. I fall in love with my madam at high school but failed to tell her my expressions at right time. I am now in 30 and still miss her, and I had to watch ANR videos imagining she is breastfeeding me . Does any women have a problem where they can not sleep until they imagine they are breastfeeding someone?