Different Method of Meditation

@Royricky09 Everyone has a different definition of bs .just saying

@kodiacofcourse

@kodiac the best way worked for me was gardening and keeping a focus in the middle of my forehead.

@Royricky09 I'm glad you found a way that works for you. When you have a video running on loop in your mind stopping the world around you only make the volume of the video louder . If i relax let my mind wander it always ends up in the same dark places

@kodiac that's exactly why I am way too practical in every aspect of life Coz the mind will always be running, that's it's job.
Whenever you start doing something creative, it automatically shifts to thinking about ideas and that's relaxing and keeps you active.

The more you sit idle, the more you end up with spiral of thoughts.

@Royricky09 But it's always there no matter how busy i keep myself, it's there when I'm working it's there when I'm sleeping I'd give anything if it would just stop even for a few minutes

@kodiac it'll always be there.
Acceptance is the key and training the mind to think in a certain way. Let me share an example....

Why do good people always feel that only bad things happen to them and why always the bad become successful.
The difference is mindset, good is always worried and confused, when the so called bad is never confused, they always do what they have to get what they want.
A thief will always focused on stealing, a businessman will always be thinking about new ventures and so on.

So, pickup 1 thing and focus on that only.

@Royricky09 I understand, i think programming comes into play .A kid that's raised in a loving caring stable lifestyle has a 100 times more chance of becoming a well adjusted adult than a kid that's been raised with abuse ,abused kids have been programmed to feel the exact opposite of a kid not abused. Programing is like Instinct very hard to change . IT almost sounds like a person has to be ruthless to be happy ?

@kodiac Eves dropping sort of on your comments. Hope it's ok.
You are right about early programing effecting you life long.
Some people like to think that you out grow all the bad shit and choose to grow above it.
But, I'm sure you already know, that stuff is for life.
But, what I have learned in 57 years is acceptance is key to not being the victim you once were.
I had a bad childhood. Not like yours but pretty messed up.
I, there fore, am a product of my environment. I was, no matter the intent, made to be like I am.
After lots of therapy and soul searching, anger management, court and jail, I found a way to make all my crap programing work more better in society. I am still the same broken toy with the same history, just now I am more exceptant that there will always be things I will never understand or be comfortable with.
I still have my triggers and am aware that, at times, I go way over the top with my reactions and actions as well as thoughts. But understanding why I am like that in detail helps keep the beast under control better.
OK. I will move along now. :-)

@Royricky09 My favorite is going on walks

@Royricky09 gardening projects are one of the few things I finish

@Dainbramadge that is exactly what one must do. No one can fix the past, but we all have the choice to move on and make something better out of it.
Time never stops, it's upto us how we use it.

@Dainbramadge Thanks my friend for your input you give sound advice ,i appreciate that👍🏻

@Royricky09 I have moved on but it's really not a choice we either move on or die. I don't choose to have flashbacks, i don't choose to have nightmares, i don't choose to have excessive startle reactions that's my point how does a person just stop these things ? I don't choose any of this and would love them to stop. I have medical issues tied to my past i can't just wish it all away .Some might say stop being a victim and i say I'm not a victim I'm a survivor. I function i have a job and as normal life as i can . But i can't just choose to leave it all behind. It's not a choice.

@kodiac well what can I say, it still was your choice if you think about it

@Royricky09 i guess we have to agree to disagree. When out of the blue I'm hit with a flashback i wasn't thinking wow id like to have a flashback today . These thing happen without any conscience thought.

@kodiac sounds like youve had experieces that were very stressfull and traumatic. Trauma changes your brain. It wasnt your fault whatever happened to you and your trauma responses are a normal reaction to it. What is in your power is to find ways process it like with a therapist to help you work through it. It takes time and patience.
Lots of people think that when bad things happen that you need to push through it and with time you'll move beyond. It honestly doesnt work that way. The reason for this is that when you experienced a traumatic event or even chronic trauma over a period of time like with abuse you learned ways to cope with it. That could mean being guarded, avoiding situations, anger as a defense, drug habits, alcoholism. Those coping habits and thinking patterns protected you and helped you deal with threats the best way you could. But now the threats are no longer there and youre using the same methods of coping that you did before and its not working anymore. A therapist helps you work through it and helps you learn new healthier ways of coping and dealing with the world.

@morrgin Thank you for your kindness