Why does he behave towards me like that?
One of the lecturers (m55) at my university have always been a cool friend / mentor type person for the students. He has high expectations and it is important for him, that students work on their ideas instead just taking the idea of others. But he also jokes around during breaks with everyone. I've known he's been there for some of the students when they had struggles or meets with students outside of university to go climbing. There is no difference if the students are guys or girls.
Well, except of me (f28). I've always felt he was kinda cold toward me, twice he left when I approached him during university events and a second later he was laughing with other students. I also had some struggles some time ago and my friends told me, he would help me, and as I still admired him, I approached him.
And he did find time for me and we talked. But it was more of a monologue and I finally got all the reasons why he doesn't like me. He told me I was too shy, introverted, can't stand my ground, I'm scared of everything... That I should have work on my projects and not get myself overruled in group meetings with my professors. That I don't fulfill his expectations and he doesn't think I should study if I won't be more confident.
I gave him right, cause he was, even when he said it harshly. I did start working on myself, learnt to be confident during meetings with my professors, even started climbing cause lots of people (and him) at my instutute do it.
He noticed, and he told me that it's great and that it makes him happy when students take his advice and do better. He also said that he finds it admirable I set up high goals for my life and work on them steadily.
I then asked him if we could talk about my project idea for my next proposal and he said that I should write him regarding the date. He even said that if he doesn't answer me, I should remind him.
Well, he postponed the meeting already 3 times and I had to write him a reminder at least 5 times to get him to respond (I only did it cause he told me to keep writing him if he doesn't answer, otherwise I wouldn't be such a stalker).
Last time he apogized it's taking him so long two weeks ago and said, he will come back to me on monday (which would be last monday). He didn't write back last monday.
a) Why doesn't he still treat me like he treats other students, even though I did everything he adviced me to and I think I now fulfill all the expectations he has?
b) If he just doesn't like me, why did he give me praise, agreed to meet to talk about my project and to send him reminders to set up a meeting. I even said last time that it's okay if he's busy and that I will cope and he said, no no, we can meet.
Thanks!
Well, except of me (f28). I've always felt he was kinda cold toward me, twice he left when I approached him during university events and a second later he was laughing with other students. I also had some struggles some time ago and my friends told me, he would help me, and as I still admired him, I approached him.
And he did find time for me and we talked. But it was more of a monologue and I finally got all the reasons why he doesn't like me. He told me I was too shy, introverted, can't stand my ground, I'm scared of everything... That I should have work on my projects and not get myself overruled in group meetings with my professors. That I don't fulfill his expectations and he doesn't think I should study if I won't be more confident.
I gave him right, cause he was, even when he said it harshly. I did start working on myself, learnt to be confident during meetings with my professors, even started climbing cause lots of people (and him) at my instutute do it.
He noticed, and he told me that it's great and that it makes him happy when students take his advice and do better. He also said that he finds it admirable I set up high goals for my life and work on them steadily.
I then asked him if we could talk about my project idea for my next proposal and he said that I should write him regarding the date. He even said that if he doesn't answer me, I should remind him.
Well, he postponed the meeting already 3 times and I had to write him a reminder at least 5 times to get him to respond (I only did it cause he told me to keep writing him if he doesn't answer, otherwise I wouldn't be such a stalker).
Last time he apogized it's taking him so long two weeks ago and said, he will come back to me on monday (which would be last monday). He didn't write back last monday.
a) Why doesn't he still treat me like he treats other students, even though I did everything he adviced me to and I think I now fulfill all the expectations he has?
b) If he just doesn't like me, why did he give me praise, agreed to meet to talk about my project and to send him reminders to set up a meeting. I even said last time that it's okay if he's busy and that I will cope and he said, no no, we can meet.
Thanks!
26-30, F
