Why can't love be real
I've only been used and manipulated. Never loved. I just want to feel safe
41-45, F
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Carissimi · 70-79, F
You can only be used if you allow it. It’s likely that you trust very easily, and most people are not trustworthy, especially men, who are mainly wanting sex, but they’ll make you think it’s love. There should be red flags at the beginning. Get to know what they are. Listen to your intuition.
I used to be a born romantic for the majority of my life. I had to reach my late 50s before I realized I was living in a dream world, and the love I thought existed, is very rare, if it exists at all.
I used to be a born romantic for the majority of my life. I had to reach my late 50s before I realized I was living in a dream world, and the love I thought existed, is very rare, if it exists at all.
in10RjFox · M
@Carissimi Love basically is the connection and it is something that develops with indulgence. It's the bonding element that brings two souls together like how two bodies can be surgically stitched for a bond.
But many prefer to fall in love guided by their own attraction for another, but can't gauge their attractiveness to the other and what for they are wanted. Thus the relationship develops with a lot of assumptions and adjustments but without a proper foundation or structure, leading to a collapse unable to withstand the changes of weather.
But many prefer to fall in love guided by their own attraction for another, but can't gauge their attractiveness to the other and what for they are wanted. Thus the relationship develops with a lot of assumptions and adjustments but without a proper foundation or structure, leading to a collapse unable to withstand the changes of weather.
Lilliesandlight · 41-45, F
@Carissimi my only relationship started when I was 16, with a 26 yr old man who manipulated me into thinking he loved me so he could pressure me for sex. It's all he wanted from me. He would pick me up from work, take me to his house, get his sex then throw me out as soon as he was done. It was confusing and extremely painful. When I didn't want to leave he would get angry and curse at me. He refused to wear a condom and I didn't have access to birth control. I was so alone in the world and desperate to be loved. He knew that, and knew that made me a good target and an easy piece of underage ass. I was nothing but a sex toy to him. I got pregnant and 24 yrs later I'm still trapped. And of course all I'm ever told is that it's all my fault. We have several children together. The thing is, he's a very good manipulator. Only someone who's been in a relationship with a narcissist would understand. I can't believe how badly I fucked my life over.
in10RjFox · M
@Lilliesandlight you got hooked to a control freak like a drug addiction and never let anyone else enter your life.
You could have gone for some long term contraception or even sterilization instead of irresponsibly giving birth to several children.
Even after delivering the first child you could have opted for birth control which they usually do.
You could have gone for some long term contraception or even sterilization instead of irresponsibly giving birth to several children.
Even after delivering the first child you could have opted for birth control which they usually do.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
@Lilliesandlight You had nothing to base love on. Your need to be loved so much at a young age, suggests you never received it as a child. That child inside searches for that love everywhere. Unfortunately, this leads to situations like yours. At least you know now, what you have is not love. You sacrificed your self worth and self respect for an illusion. I’m sorry.
