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I'm really wanting a dominant man but also want love and someone who is understanding.

I need this in my life. Fetlife doesn't work, because all those people are either too far into the lifestyle, taken, or just want to hook up with people. With that said, I don't know how to find what I want.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
I don't often talk about this on SW, but I think this is an occasion where it is appropriate.

I am on FetLife. (Just for conversation. I am not there to meet anyone or to roleplay.) Although I have been inactive for a long time.

There are a number of groups there which are geographically based, with names like "Fairbanks area kinksters" (I just made that one up.) And those groups tend to sponsor social get-togethers.

From what I have learned from women on that site, sub women often have the experience that many so-called Doms never post in a public forum, want to communicate entirely in private , and eventually try to finagle a private meeting, but they avoid those public gatherings. (A red flag, to many women!) So in a way, those meet-ups are a filter. The people who show up are regulars who get to know each other. And even if you only meet "friends" -- even couples (where the men are "taken") -- friends often have a way of finding someone you might want to meet, just as in vanilla life.

A friend of mine did exactly that -- she started going just for the sense of belonging to a kink community, and she eventually found a Dom. Things worked for a while, but they eventually ended, although that had to do with complications in her life that were completely independent of what was going on with the Dom.
SW-User
Ok, here's why women are finding trouble getting a man.

Set up a post for women to describe the type of man they desire and you'll notice a pattern. Women all want the same guy.

That means whoever these guys are have a plethora of options. Women throw themselves at them and so they might exercise their options. A man with options is unlikely to remain loyal to you.
perceptivei · 36-40, F
@SW-User Well, i didn't know i want the same guy every woman wants. 🤔
SW-User
@perceptivei Remember when what women wanted was whittled down to [i]tall dark and handsome [/i]? Now it's described as [i]6ft tall, 6 figure income, 6 pack abs (or 6+inches down below).[/i]

How ever it's described, womens desires in a man are very often the same man or type of dudes
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
@perceptivei You don’t . Your tastes will be unique to you 🌹
SW-User
ya its cool to have someone w a leader personality cuz im too introverted but some men make it all abt the i am an alpha cringe
perceptivei · 36-40, F
@SW-User Not necessarily like that... not too dominant.
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
@perceptivei Can you be submissive for the right Dom ? Can you handle a strong Dom ? Can you give the total submission that will bring out a Dom’s caring and understanding side ? Can you handle being dominated totally in all aspects of the relationship ? These are the questions you have to ask yourself . If you have more than two Yes answers then you will find your real Dom 🌹
jfox4anr · 46-50, M
I consider myself a Dom for life.
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
@jfox4anr Me too . It’s not something you become , it’s something you just are . Dom’s are born not made from my experience in the kink world 🌎
canlem · 70-79
You and me both, fetlife is shit ! As the female singers say's " I just wanna have fun " You up for a chat and maybe more ?
If you don't how to find, it possibly means that you don't understand why and what you want.

Lean more about people in general and interact, you might find someone that will make you happy.
That man does not exist.

Relationships are about compromise.

Pussy Control is old school!
perceptivei · 36-40, F
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
@perceptivei Pussy Control will never work in a true Dom / Sub relationship . A real Dom will want ownership of your pussy right from the start 🌹
SW-User
That’s normal … you just have to find the balance in life and a man that can provide the balance
LondonCowboy · 51-55, M
There are a lot of real understanding Dom’s around . Keep up the search 😘
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perceptivei · 36-40, F
@deleted000 I bet your Indian. Don't ask why.

 
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