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I'm really wanting a dominant man but also want love and someone who is understanding.

I need this in my life. Fetlife doesn't work, because all those people are either too far into the lifestyle, taken, or just want to hook up with people. With that said, I don't know how to find what I want.
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DrWatson · 70-79, M
I don't often talk about this on SW, but I think this is an occasion where it is appropriate.

I am on FetLife. (Just for conversation. I am not there to meet anyone or to roleplay.) Although I have been inactive for a long time.

There are a number of groups there which are geographically based, with names like "Fairbanks area kinksters" (I just made that one up.) And those groups tend to sponsor social get-togethers.

From what I have learned from women on that site, sub women often have the experience that many so-called Doms never post in a public forum, want to communicate entirely in private , and eventually try to finagle a private meeting, but they avoid those public gatherings. (A red flag, to many women!) So in a way, those meet-ups are a filter. The people who show up are regulars who get to know each other. And even if you only meet "friends" -- even couples (where the men are "taken") -- friends often have a way of finding someone you might want to meet, just as in vanilla life.

A friend of mine did exactly that -- she started going just for the sense of belonging to a kink community, and she eventually found a Dom. Things worked for a while, but they eventually ended, although that had to do with complications in her life that were completely independent of what was going on with the Dom.