I am a bit perplexed

My son and his girlfriend broke up, apparently a while ago.

Now, I already knew it was happening. I knew it back last year. He was tuning out and it was visible.

I had told him a while back that if they broke up, she was okay to stay. That doesn't include the "out by March", which she finally told me wasn't possible. I said we'd deal with it when it comes.

But apparently, she didn't want me to know because she was afraid I would kick her out. So she told my son not to tell me. I caught him at a moment of weakness and he admitted they had.

Now, I wouldn't just kick her out because she's not with my son anymore. I am not that kind of person.

But it does bother me that she is obfuscating the truth to benefit herself. I dislike lying through ommission. I hate lying period. To me, this is an offense to ingegrity, especially since I have been letting her live at my house for free since Sept of last year. I feel I deserve some honesty. This is not being honest.

And then, she comes out of the room the other night, asking me to be quiet because she's sleeping. Well, I understand i was being noisy. I was cooking. That can be noisy. But she has no job and can sleep all day long, whereas, I have work and a schedule I need to keep because it is a hard schedule to work.

I just feel at this point that I'm being taken advantage of and I am thinking she needs to move back in with her mom, or something come March because I'm not happy about the way this was done.

This has been on my mind for the last 30 hours.

Elisbch · M

What if you told her exactly (word for word or close) to what you've told us in this post? Be as honest with her as your have been here about your feelings? Maybe you already have but I didn't read this that way? If you haven't, then she knows exactly where you stand. That should give her something to think about if she wants to stay there. If you don't see any Improvement, well,... like everyone else says here, you're well within your right to get her to move out. (jmho)

kdma1l · 51-55, M

She lied to you - whether it was a lie of omission or something else, it was still a lie.
Your son was complicit in that lie by not telling you.

So you are fully entitled to feel as you do.

You may have previously said she can stay, when you could see the break-up looming, but the lie and the freeloading changes things.

Sounds like you have given her fair warning to get out - end of March.

Ferric67 · M

You are well within your rights to justifiably feel the way you do.

Is this young woman depressed?
Why doesn't she want to live with her family?
Is she incapable of working or holding a job?