The last time..

Sometimes it's hard to share a painful story, but when you get it out, it helps lessen the power it has over you so I'm going to share here in the void, even if noone else reads it. So here goes...
Sex was always infrequent in my marriage, I thought it didn't matter as much as I realized later. I always initiated sex. I didn't mind that so much, it was that it felt like he was forcing himself. When I hit my mid 30s, as what often happens to women of this age, our sex drive increases. I became increasingly frustrated and the sex became less and less frequent. He would make an excuse or just play with me and nothing more. I tried to spice things up, but it didn't help even a little. If anything, it made it worse. On my last attempt, I got up the courage to lead him to the bedroom. I had him sit on the bedside chair then I tied his hands. I laid on the bed in front of him and began playing with myself. Before I got very far, he told me "this is weird"
I got up and ran downstairs and cried myself to sleep. The next day, I said, since I don't think things are going to change in this aspect if he minded if I saw someone. He said no and that he would try harder. That was 10 years ago. The sex stopped completely.