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Would you give up on the relationship?

So I'm not even close to giving up on my relationship. I get comments everyday that my relationship is unconventional and I should leave him and be with someone physically. So my fiance is in prison for at least the next 5 years. I met him while he was in prison. We were friends for awhile talked everyday for months before we truly made it official. Anyway people say I'm crazy and hey they are open to their opinions. I see it this way. I will have him physically in my arms at some point, I see him as much as I can kiss hug him sit talk with him for hours. He does things for my heart no other man has done to this point. Yes I may crash and fall and get hurt. Shit I would rather crash and burn trying than to just give up on love and that happily ever after bullshit you know what I mean. Lol I just think some people are worth the fight and worth the wait. I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but please at least be polite

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Selah ·

You need our disapproval to fuel your us-against-the-world fantasy but everyone is in the comments wishing you the best lol

It's bc they don't care about you but they would tell their daughters she is being an idiot.

Fairydust · F

Just a question 🙋‍♀️

What if you wait for him and then he leaves you once he’s out? He could be using you while he’s inside?

I’d be very cautious, 5 years is a long time. 🕰️

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Fairydust there's a chance of that. I'm not going to kid myself I know the risks I know exactly what I'm getting into. If nothing else I just move on to someone else it's not that difficult to understand

Fairydust · F

@Sassychick420

I wish you all the best, I hope it works out for you 🥰✨

in10RjFox · M

Really nice to know that you met him in prison and the connection happened and that you pursued over phone. Actually phone connect is more intense than other forms as the souls interact directly.

It's just like any other long distance relationship where prison is like overseas.

Isn't there a family option where you can apply and spend a day with him in a private room ?

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in10RjFox · M

@Sassychick420 isn;t there an option to get married to him and start a family ? The reason is your age and that you can raise a child in the meantime.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@in10RjFox yes we are in the process of getting married. But conjugal visits and time alone are only allowed in five states in the United States

in10RjFox · M

@Sassychick420 What was his crime ? is he eligible for Parole or when? Actually you can make your intentions clear in a document and approach through a lawyer. In the document you should declare your status, your financial condition and how you can support. You may go for IUI by making him as sperm donor. Also if its his first time, his remorse in a documented manner can get him out faster. He can say how you have changed his life and how destiny had it that you two have to meet and how he wishes to start a new life, and not go the old ways. No harm in trying. Judges do take into consideration and are serious about things in document.

calicuz · 56-60, M

No hate, but it's not hard for a man to tell you he loves you if all he is really looking for is someone to put money on his books.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@calicuz I can respect that though if I put money on his books regularly which I don't I barley pay for the phone calls he makes so yeah. It's definitely not about money

Anielka · F

The reason most people think that way is because they first wonder why he's in prison, then wonder why you would waste your time with someone like that, how did you meet him in prison? Did you just go there looking to meet someone? These are the questions that most people think about that shape their comment.

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Anielka · F

@Sassychick420 yeah I know what you mean, until you show people different you'll always get comments like that.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Anielka of course it's for no one else to understand. I know the consequences I know what I'm involved in. Others options mean nothing to me I'm just curious if anyone else would do this for love however that means to them. This is just my example

Anielka · F

@Sassychick420 I'm old fashion when it comes to meeting guys, I would need someone physically there with me.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I think you are a grown adult and are in no way looking through rose glasses. For some reason, he really does it for you. Does he feel like he returns the same energy? Maybe you are the person that can help turn his life around. Life is crazy. You're still young. So live it with no regrets. Wishing you all the best.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

Just want to make this clear. I'm not asking for permission. I'm seeing what others would do for love maybe I should have explained that better. I'm just all about getting back on the horse even when I fall.

calicuz · 56-60, M

@Sassychick420

That's fine, it's just we that are older have seen, and heard, this scenario time and time again. All it leads to is a lot of drama, and a woman with a man in and out of prison.
The last piece of friendly advice I'll leave you, as long as you're not under the impression that you can fix him, you just might be alright. This something that can be survived, it's just time consuming.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@calicuz hell no I'm not trying to fix him or change him that is something he has to do. We are just in this ride called life together right now. I get why people are out of by it. It's not a what you would call normal relationship. I definitely think that everyone deserves a second chance at life and in love so yeah. Until I start seeing red flags imma continue this relationship.

CuriousCutie · F

There is no way to know who he really is until he gets out. Be careful, most guys in prison are con artists when ot comes to women. I know, i did time..

SW-User

@CuriousCutie

I know, i did time..

What for?

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@SW-User I know there is no way to know for sure. But do ever really know for sure in any relationship

CuriousCutie · F

@Sassychick420 True, but we shouldnt just ignore obvious red flags. I did prior to my first marraige, and over 30 years later, im still paying consequences.

phillyguy · 56-60, M

you did not say WHY he was in prison. If it was for abuse or child porn or other major social ills, do you want to be part of that after he gets out? but if it was for theft or possession then that is recoverable. Just my opinion.

DaveyWavey01 · M

How's this for polite?? You wanna be with him? Do it. You think he's worth waiting for. It will be worth it when he is out

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@DaveyWavey01 do I sense some passive aggressiveness shit okay

DaveyWavey01 · M

@Sassychick420 not at all. I'm happy for you. You know how I feel about you my friend. It was more aimed at any shit you may get for the post

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@DaveyWavey01 I see that now

WhateverWorks · 36-40

To answer your question, no, I wouldn’t get dragged into all that.

You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do though and it’s going to be what it’s going to be. If it works out, great.

If it doesn’t work out though, it’s important not to rationalize this choice later with the “Well, at least I tried to fight for love and gave happily ever after a shot.’ Spiel that strolls you right into the next dysfunctional situation with a high probability of not working out because you’ve convinced yourself that happily ever after starts with fucked up beginnings.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks all you can do is learn from every failure

SW-User

No hate here. It's no different than the thousands of online relationships. Probably millions. As long as you are happy and feel your needs are met, it's nobody else's business.

Havesomefun2 · 56-60, M

Mine 20 years of marriage failed because I got ill and my monies ran out 😡

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Havesomefun2 · 56-60, M

@Sassychick420 shit happens but I’ve got a lovely son out of it 6ft 3 blonde hair and blue eyes (jealous iam 😂)

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Havesomefun2 hehe well good I'm glad. He sounds great

Havesomefun2 · 56-60, M

@Sassychick420 yeah got his drivers licence before Christmas now heron his second car costing me a fortune

Katie01 · F

It's hard to say really. If I was with someone who went to prison, I'd probably break up with them because they can't support me and be with me when I need them. On the other hand, if you love and support him and can look passed whatever it is he did, you should stay together. My boyfriend has raped someone in the passed but luckily he never went to prison and I still love him more than life itself. It really depends how you deal with the situation

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Katie01 I support myself. I'm not in a relationship for financial support it's about love

Katie01 · F

@Sassychick420 but does he really love you if you is choosing to be away from you for that long

Kstrong · 56-60, F

Protect your heart, but the heart will choose what it wants, it may not make sense, and you will learn along the way. I wish the best for you....

icedsky · 51-55, M

I agree with Davey. Nobody can tell you who you love except yourself.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@icedsky absolutely no one could change my mind but Eric and his actions. I'm just curious

icedsky · 51-55, M

@Sassychick420 Dont give up

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@icedsky I refuse to give up I'm a strong independent opinionated woman that won't change ever

GerOttman · 61-69, M

That's a hard road to travel but it's your journey. Try to travel safely and remember to care for your self! Live long and prosper.

Northwest · M

Out of curiosity, and assuming this account is not a troll account....

How do you meet someone in prison? do they have mixers?

How do you talk everyday for months? Inmates get to use a public phone, while others wait in line. Did you have a cell phone smuggled out to him?

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Northwest lol technically it was illegally. We met over Facebook

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Northwest he calls me everyday I talk to him for about 3 hours everyday

Sojournersoul · M

It is your life, do what makes you happy.

3Dogmatic · 46-50, M

Best of luck to the two of you.

Alex51 · 61-69, M

Love is strictly personal

StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M

I hope it works out for you.

joe438 · 61-69, M

If you know his heart and he feels the same way about you, 5 years isn’t a long time to wait out. You’ll likely even know each other better than other couples since you’re mostly talking at this point.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@joe438 that's exactly what I'm thinking. We actually have to communicate forced to communicate

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

I personally don't know what advice to give you because this is such an alien concept to me.
I would never consider dating someone in prison. I mean how does one even go about being set up with someone behind bars (rhetorical)
I can only wish you luck. But I feel like you could aim a little higher personally.
And I think because people around you care they feel the same.

It's your life and you have to do what you feel is best at the end of the day.

BigMan89 · 31-35

I'll be polite but I don't see why women do this when there are plenty of good, loving men roaming free and not breaking the law. That you could start a life with now. I think women like men in prison because they now that the man can't cheat on her with another woman. Good luck.

SkeetSkeet · 100+, F

How do you meet someone in prison through a friend?

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Just answering your question, yes.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

It’s up to you to do what you want with your life but I wouldn’t do it.

Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M

you deserve better, that is all.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@Moneyonmymind I can respect that but what is what you call better is toxic for me idk it does both ways. I can do me which imma do anyways but now I can't do that with my partners support

Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M

@Sassychick420 i dont see how that could be perceived as toxic, but hey you do you ig

This message was deleted by its author.

Sassychick420 · 31-35, F

@R5000 through a friend

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