Upset
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conflicted and need advice

I recently had an argument with my boyfriend, and it's left me feeling sad and conflicted. He opened up about his concerns regarding our relationship. he mentioned that he felt like I wasn’t happy with him, and, he also expressed that he feels that I'm no longer attracted to him because we haven't been as intimate lately. Just to give some context, we're in a long-distance relationship.

I explained to him that I've been going through a tough time lately due to some family issues and stress in general, which has caused me to act differently than usual. He genuinely believes that I'm not happy with him anymore, and despite my efforts to explain, it seems like he's not convinced. No matter how many times I reassure him that he makes me incredibly happy and that he's not failing as a boyfriend, he doesn't seem to believe me. It's incredibly frustrating because he truly does make me the happiest person on the planet, and I wish he could see that.
I'm afraid that he thinks I'm hiding something or not being honest with him.

I'm now stuck in a dilemma. I'm torn between keeping all my feelings to myself to avoid making my boyfriend feel like I'm not happy with him or continuing to be open and honest about what's going on with me. It's a tough spot, and I'm not sure which way to go. I don't want to push him away by not sharing, but I also don't want him to feel responsible for my happiness, especially when I genuinely am happy with him.
in10RjFox · M
Long distance relationship typically goes through this phase as it's quite difficult for people to be in a relationship without proximity. Since life cannot be brought together at once, it is best to part ways amicably and resume the relationship later date if both are available.

If for instance you are in touch every day, switch to weekly once and then monthly once and gradually let the relationship fade out. You can always make random calls to check status.

But both need to understand that relationship is overexposed and worn out. You need to let some newness fill in so there is excitement of catching up and stories to share.
Iwantyourhotwife · 22-25
[quote]He genuinely believes that I'm not happy with him anymore, and despite my efforts to explain, it seems like he's not convinced.[/quote]

This is his choice. HE made HIS mind up about YOU. Realize that in a relationship, he needs to BELIEVE in you. He needs to hear you

It is wrong to dismiss, belie, amd reject someone's love. Invalidating them directly means they no longer even wish to believe what you say. That's problematic.

At the same time, be honest and share with him what is going on. He is not responsible for you being happy. You deserve to be hurt when you feel down and experience sadness. You don't HAVE to be happy. Sad things happen. Let them wash over you like a river over stone. He should be by your side and understand that and support you and let you know you're still you and you're still there.

Concretely:

Be open and explain. He should be accepting and accommodating, if he cares.
Really · 80-89, M
Sounds like a very controlling person in a passive-aggressive sort of way. Maybe best to break it off. I wonder how he'd react if you told him he's right and you don't love him?
ETA: (Not recommending that; it's just an interesting thought.)

I hope you find someone closer to home you can bond with.
JPWhoo · 36-40, MVIP
Honesty and communication are important to lasting relationships.
hunkalove · 61-69, M
If you have a teenie-weenie you should take what you can get. I do.
Glassysky · 22-25, M

 
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