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Money is hurting my relationship [I Need Advice On Relationships]

3 months ago my bf and I had to leave our old place due to a fight with our roommates. We're living in an RV at my parents and now trying to move out again. My boyfriend and I get along wonderful except when it comes to finances and this situation has us having to focus on our money. We just don't see things eye to eye. I'm starting to resent him because I believe he's unambitious and unwilling to improve himself. He's starting to become irritated with me because I bug him about saving money and spending excessively. I'm just tired of this.
AnxietyGirl
26-30, F
20 replies 93 views Mar 13, 2021
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Edited: 3 yrs ago
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TheBlackPowerRanger
He sounds like he's not thinking of the future. Have a heart to heart talk to him and see what he wants and if he's comfortable with where he is. There is a difference between wanting to get out of there and just simply liking the idea of getting out of there. When you want something, you do. When you like the idea of it, you sit there and say "Yeah, I think that's good" and get happy thinking of it and that's about it
+ 3 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
questionWeaver
Men in the 18-32 demographic are the most immature and unambitious we likely have ever seen.

They are setting all kinds of records for unemployment, murders, spousal abuse, crimes and lack of new business starts.

Just to provide context, that your experience is being repeated over and over with men in that demographic. A lot is due to schooling and over parenting at a young age.
+ 2 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
DeluxedEdition 路 26-30, F
@questionWeaver i was really shocked when i saw spousal abuse 馃槓 but sadly it made sense
+ 2 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
questionWeaver
@DeluxedEdition yes, the amount of domestic violence, restraining orders, convictions and the progression to more serious crimes of spouse murder ... are setting all kind of records in that demographic.

Some note the meth influence in that age group. But, it is likely more than that factor.

It most likely is related to the huge disparity between real maturity at 21, for men.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
questionWeaver
@DeluxedEdition am working on legislation to address the new 72 hour head start that domestic abusers get over law enforcement ... i.e. - the "missing spouse" drama
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
DeluxedEdition 路 26-30, F
finances is the number one reason people break up. if you are having problems right now hit the road. you are in your twenties you should be enjoying your life. not in a relationship... everyone wants to be in a relationship for some reason. it's overhyped AF.
+ 2 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
JohnnyNoir 路 56-60, M
Money is often the biggest thing that will make or break a relationship. No matter how good other aspects may be, if you can鈥檛 agree there, you might want to reassess things
+ 2 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
Oster1 路 M
Personally, I don鈥檛 see him changing unless something shocks it into him.
Your gut is screaming at you. You may need to make a decision. On note paper, write two columns. Pros and cons and what you can and can鈥檛 live with. I seriously think that talking at this stage is unproductive.

@questionWeaver was very correct. Not all and maybe some can change but then again, it may just be an incompatibility between the two of you. Good luck to you. I wish you the best.馃槉馃尫
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
PrivateHell 路 M
Set aside ground rules on the money, making rent the very first thing before any other spending, then groceries and utilities. If you both stick to this, you can work through the rest as needed but will at least have a place to stay.

If he can't or won't stick to it, it's time to move on. Because if you think you resent him now, wait until you are either permanently at your mother's, or living on the street because he bankrupted you.

Good luck.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 15, 2021
DownTheStreet 路 51-55, M
Financial compatibility is vital. These are life choices.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
Riemann 路 31-35, M
Slow and steady progress my friend.
+ 1 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
Eclipsed 路 M
This is always how it is one partner wants somthing the other struggles with like more better sex or money or behaviors or you name it. It's tough.. I know. Really tough at times.
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 24, 2021
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GoldandRust 路 26-30, M
You need money
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
LookingForTheSummer 路 31-35, M
@GoldandRust No shit!
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
GoldandRust 路 26-30, M
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 13, 2021
LifeOnHardMode 路 26-30, M
GARBAGE PEOPLE
+ 0 路 Reply 路 Translate 路 Mar 19, 2021
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