Should Valentine's Day be canceled?
It started out as the feast day of
I heard a young lady comment today I hate Valentine’s day. It is a day for nothing but disappointment. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day…not even when I had a partner to share it with, so this got me thinking. We’ve stopped having several different holidays in my lifetime & now I’m wondering why we need Valentine’s Day. Is Valentine’s Day one of those days that is no longer relevant to anyone but those selling candy & sexy underwear & would anyone really miss it? If a couple is truly together as one, why do they need Valentine’s Day to express their love? Can they not buy that precious gift on their own on a day that they determine to be important? Is there any reason we still need to celebrate Valentine’s Day? Now hear me out. All it is is a giant commercial. Its only purpose is to guilt trip you into buying some overpriced gift for your SO. It also makes lonely people feel miserable. It is a useless holiday and should not br celebrated. People consent to celebrating the day. I do, my neighbor does, his neighbor does too. Are we not allowed to? People who get miserable because theyre lonely are making themselves lonely. Dont try to take things away from other people that they do that they enjoy just because youre jealous
Get rid of it. Valentine’s Day is just a marketing holiday that forces you to buy unnecessary things for your SO. That’s extra trash, plastic, and clutter that is going into the world. Also, I don’t think you should have a day to celebrate love. That’s what anniversaries are for. And that’s what everyday is for. Treat your SO throughout the year instead of limiting it to one day!
It's not like it's a day off holiday, so I'd probably keep it the same. I get that it sucks to be single during all these displays of affection, but you can definitely find ways to make your day more fun. Several years ago one if my attempts to stay entertained while single on Valentine's day got me to the front page of Reddit and everything - someone else posted about me, not a post I made myself.
My husband and I make it a point to ignore Valentine's Day. We hate the commercialism involved, and truly feel that if people appreciated each other a little more the rest of the year, that they wouldn't need a specific day to show it. That said, I would not abolish Valentine's Day. What's meaningful to one person is nothing to another, and it's not my place to take that away from anyone. I would suggest,as someone else already has, that it would be better if people found better ways to express their feelings that did not feed into the commercial aspect of the day. Make it distasteful to buy stuff and rein it in to make it about time spent together rather than the tacky and expensive romantic gesture.
Keep it. I feel like it's like Christmas: it's been corporatized all to hell and it makes one day out of a feeling that should last all year, but that's not a good enough reason to get rid of it. Sometimes you need something to be A Day, rather than spontaneous, because you can put off spontaneous things in a way you can't when a date is set in stone, and it's easier to be complacent that way.
I 29M and 22F only have recently started dating and I have planned a special date on Valentine's Day. My only issue is that I have already found faults with our chemistry. Part of me wants to stick with the plan and the other part of me does not want to waste my time or hers. I like her and I really want it to work out. I think she likes me based on our dates .. but I get a feeling that if we do get into a relationship it would not turn out great. I think it may be soon to tell since we have just started but I have so much reservations. When I talk to her about my problems, she reassures and tries to fix it. I feel happy temporarily but then I go back to feeling like it won't work out based on her behavior. Should I cancel or stick with it? Message me for more details.
It’s hard to say without knowing what your reservations about her are. But there is no harm in having a nice Valentines together, regardless of the future.
So, since she was born I have left my 12 week old daughter three times: twice with my husband (once to go to a doctor's appointment), and one with my mum and step-dad. This last time was at 6 weeks, I went for a meal with my husband for my birthday, and all went fine.
On Valentine's Day my husband is meant to be taking me out for the evening, letting me eat nom food, drink lots of wine, and have non-baby orientated conversation. Little girl is meant to be left with my mum and step-dad. However, the last two times they have been over in the evening she has started wailing inconsolably whenever they hold her. She doesn't do this with anyone else. She's never done this with them before. Other than my husband and I, these are the people she sees the most. But suddenly this behaviour has started. All I can think is perhaps she associates them being round in the evening with the last time I left her. She gets really clingy with me when they're here and even my husband can't comfort her.
I have no idea what to do. Any advice? I'm kind of scared to post to other mum groups in case I get: "Well obviously she's not ready for you to leave her, be grateful and enjoy this time, she won't want you forever!" And I get that, but... I could just do with an evening off... just a few hours.
We considered leaving her with my husband's parents, but they've all come down with a cold and I don't want to infect her. Other than that there isn't really anyone else. Plus, my parents are taking her cries kind of personally, and I think stopping them babysitting her would make that worse.
Also, I like presents. Gift-giving is one of my love languages, and I spend a lot of time putting thought into what things my boyfriend would like (I do the same on his birthday and Christmas and our anniversary). I do make him things sometimes, but I put as much effort into buying things as I do making them.
I have never been one to celebrate Valentine's day. I usually don't even remember until after it has passed. Last year, two months into my relationship, I forgot it was Valentine's day but my girlfriend did not. I was working from home when she surprised me with an edible arrangements Valentine's day delivery. It was awkward because I've never celebrated Valentine's day before, and also how is someone supposed to eat all the fruit by themselves?
I like specific holidays. If every holiday is about everything, then no holiday would be unique, and then we may as well just have all holidays be the same.
Agreed. And I really hate the stereotype that people who hate Valentine's Day are just salty about being single. I was accused of that for years, but my partner and I have been together for 8 years now and we've still never celebrated Valentine's Day even once because we find it tacky and dislike how much importance our culture places on romantic/sexual relationships over other types of relationships. Also we already spend lots of time together, go on dates, buy each other little gifts from time to time. We don't really see any reason why we should have to do all these things on that one specific day just because the calendar says we're supposed to. It's just going to end up being a way worse date because the restaurants are all crazy busy and have alternate menus that usually aren't able to accommodate my dietary needs and we don't need the extra stress of having to find another perfect gift when we've just had Christmas/his birthday and mine is coming up in a couple months.
I think the thing I hate the most is how weird other guys get about it though. I've had so many acquaintances ask me what my partner and I are doing for Valentine's Day and when I explain that we don't celebrate because it's just not our thing, they act like I told them our plans are for him to get drunk and punch me in the face. I've have so many dudes tell me that both of us choosing not to celebrate Valentines Day is somehow a reflection of his value as a romantic partner and go off on a tangent about what they would do for me one Valentine's Day if we were dating. Because completely ignoring my wishes and forcing me to participate in cultural traditions I find annoying and meaningless is soooo much better. 🙄
This year my partner took an overtime shift so that a coworker who does like Valentine's Day could spend the evening with her partner and so he could bring home some extra cash that can be put towards a new climber for our cats and if you ask me, that's a much purer expression of love than any date we could have gone on or gifts we could have given.
Valentine's Day is the only holiday specifically for lovers/couples, but we already have holidays for friends/family. Christmas and Thanksgiving especially.
I'd also argue that Valentine's Day in its current state is a symptom of society's more broken norms which see coupling up and getting married then having kids as the ultimate goal of adulthood, which of course is biased both towards monogamous people and against polyamourous, asexual or aromantic people. If Valentine's Day was abolished, the pressure to get married and have kids would still exist because it has deeper roots in our society than a single holiday.
My partner and I are long distance. We see each other roughly one long weekend a month, but I'm hoping to move to where he is soon. This month, with his work schedule I was going to stay there over Valentines Day and release of the Deadpool movie. The plan was also to do an overnight trip to his parents house.
For some backstory, his parents make me uncomfortable. A few years ago he broke up with me because they didn't like me, my weight at the time being one of the reasons. We got back together a few months ago and he promised that he wouldn't let them convince him to break-up again. I've put on some weight (still weigh less than I used to, BMI is less than 25), but am working to lose the rest.
The other day, he decided to extend his visit home to span the entire trip I was planning (Edit: to be clear, four days, vs one overnight with us leaving in the morning). One of his siblings is coming home unexpectedly. I was invited to go, but declined. His family makes me so uncomfortable I just can't be there for days. We have to sleep in separate beds there, no cuddling, no sex.
I'm very upset and resentful that our plans fell through. I was working on a homemade gift, was going to bake a bunch of treats, and was excited to bang for days. He swore that we could still Deadpool together, and begged me to not see it without him. With work and other plans, a visit the weekend after isn't feasible. I'm so hurt, that I'm thinking of asking him to call or message me until the 15th. Am I in the right to be upset? Anyways I ended up inviting her over to my place for the first time and cooking her a "Valentine's Day Dinner" and even got her some chocolates. After this weird Valentine's day I explained how I never celebrate Valentine's day, I don't understand it and gave her the consumerism spiel. She said she wasn't really big on Valentine's day either but wanted to show me how she feels. I told her she didn't have to get me anything and that I really don't enjoy Valentine's day. She respected it. All good
I agree. It doesn't even promote actual love though, just an overcommercialized facsimile of whatever the latest corporate ad campaign thinks love looks like.
I’m not religious. I’m not a prude. I’m not saying little kids shouldn’t have their little girlfriends and boyfriends or whatever. But Valentines day was heavily celebrated in my elementary school for some weird ass reason. It filled the halls with anxiety. Every year we made a little “mail box” and then people would put Valentines cards and candy in your box. This caused huge fuss obviously because people would buy extravagant valentines for eachother girls would burst into tears if Vday came and the dumb boy she had a crush on and never talked to didn’t give her a valentine. When we got old enough to be petty people would give them to a whole class and leave out the girl they hates or whatever.
So then rules were made. Regulations put on the cards. I remember one year if you gave one person a valentine you had to give one to the whole class. Then conservative parents got mad that their boy would have to send a valentine to another boy. Then they banned candy and people got in trouble for giving their friends candy secretly. On and on every year some knew thing happened and parents kept one upping eachother with how extravagant the cards and gifts were (I went to a public school with a lot of rich kids whose parents love them too much.) So I ask-
Why are we entertaining this? It’s not a holiday that really applies to children at all in the same way it does for adults. We should just skip it in school. I know some teachers are just praying for another day they can bust out the crayons and give out candy so they can get some deserved rest but maybe we should cool it on Valentines day. I know drama happens anyways in school but the school should do it’s best to minimize this for similar reason I don’t really endorse prom kings and queens or Hollywood style auditions for school plays. Just too much drama for immature people to handle folks.
People who complain about Valentines day are more annoying, like we get it, you're lonely and you wished someone brought you chocolates. I'm lonely asf too but I'm not going to go on an essay long rant about how this day sucks because Tiffany wrote a paragraph on how she's lucky to have her boyfriend of five months and how Tom gave Becky a large teddy bear saying 'I heart you'.
I usually wrote pretty much the same thing on every card. One little boy took it very personal & he stalked me for years because he thought I loved him. We were in the 2nd grade. After that kid, I became EXTREMELY careful what I wrote on any card!!! On his card, I’d choose the most generic card in the pack, I stopped adding a note & I stopped signing my name opting to just use my first initial so he couldn’t prove that it came from me. After my experience with him, I got to where I’d have anxiety attacks just before Valentine’s Day every year.
My husband & I NEVER celebrated Valentine’s Day on the day. We’d buy special little gifts for each other all throughout the year. For me, that was a LOT more special than buying a gift when expected to buy it!!! As I’d be heading off to work in the morning, he’d hand me a special lunch that he had made for me & when I ate it, I’d find a special little note telling me how much he loved me & what I meant to him & how he couldn’t wait until I would get home that evening. There was NO store bought Valentine card that could even touch his note!!! We didn’t need a pre chosen day out of the year to express our love for each other. As a matter of fact, he had been dead for just over a year when I found a card hidden in the very back of a cabinet. It was a Happy Birthday card with the sweetest note written on it & I found it on my birthday. So, even in death, he was still sending me special messages!!!
Due to everything that has happened in my life, I hold NO special affinity for Valentines Day!!! I still spontaneously buy little gifts for friends all throughout the year just to say “I’m thinking
'Oh I hate Valentines day because everyone is so fake and only buys their loves ones cute things once a year just because of society'. Some people just straight up say they hate the day because they're single and they're triggered by all these couples. Okay, lets all cancel Christmas because I have no family to celebrate it with.
It's as consumerist as you choose to celebrate it, just like any holiday. My husband and I usually go out to dinner at a nice restaurant and enjoy a romantic date night together. Sometimes he'll send a bouquet of my favorite flowers for my desk at work. I love a reason to celebrate and Valentine's falls in that perfect slump when everyone's down because of terrible weather and cabin fever.
I like celebrating holidays, but I mostly agree. I’m always shocked at how much people do for Valentine’s Day. My parents still do chocolates, cards, flowers, etc. and it just all seems so gimmicky and impersonal to me. I understand wanting to celebrate, I love celebrating, but the mindless consumption is what gets me. My SO and I “celebrate” by cooking a fancier meal than usual and watching a movie or show.
I feel like everyone is looking at this the wrong way. He was making a nice gesture with the dinner and planning your Valentine’s Day and you basically said that you don’t care about gifts at all but ignored his enthusiasm. It sounds like he had things planned and you hurt his feelings by not reciprocating his enthusiasm. You could have made something handmade or got him something cheap instead of just saying no to something he was obviously excited about. He probably feels like he is the only one putting in effort.
I've been seeing this guy for about a month. We went on 5 dates. He asked me to hang out this week but I was busy. He asked for Saturday then, and I said sure. He asked it so quickly, I'm sure he forgot it was Valentine's day, but I just thought whatever it would be fun to have a date then. The next day he asks if we can switch the date because his company wants to do a Saturday evening work call. It was a really lame excuse, and I was a bit upset. I don't think we had to make a big deal out of the day, we could have kept it casual. We didn't define what we were doing at all. I just wrote back that I was busy and maybe another time then. I haven't heard back from him. I'm worried I was being a bit harsh and I should have given him a pass. On the other hand, I feel like it's pretty dick to cancel after asking me out. I think he was panicking because he didn't want to make us look too serious. What do you suggest? Should I give him a pass on this one, and reach out to him to reschedule, or do I wait and let him come to me again? I find it awkward because my friends will brag to me about the “surprises” (gifts) their boyfriends got them and Im really not romantic anyways, so I never know what to say. I’m not really impressed by gifts that can be found on end caps or the generic go tos, so I feel like I have to fake excitement for them to not seem bitchy or holier than thou. I mean, do a dozen roses from the grocery store bought out of a feeling of obligation really say “love”?
1 year later....Valentine's day is here, and of course I didn't know once again. She never spoke to me about it, and we would usually laugh about the edible arrangements story if ever brought up in the course of the last year. I didn't get an edible arrangements delivery today, and there was no mention of Valentine's day, we just texted throughout the day as usual. Then, just a few minutes ago I get a long paragraph about how she knows I don't like Valentine's day but she was still expecting me to do something for her. She said she told herself not to expect anything, but I never acknowledged it was Valentine's day, and deep down she was expecting me to come surprise her at work or something.
Dude. Im in my early 20s, relationships rarely ever last at this age. Maybe yall got the wrong impression of me. Im not some fat slob old fart whos sitting at my desk chewing my nails wondering what shes doing. Im here because I want this to last. But if it doesnt im not gonna cry over it. I still go out and have fun (maybe a little too much) and girls are plentiful. And maybe some people here are right, I need to break out of the short term mindset and start thinking long term. But ill tell yall one thing. I dont know how old you are but id imagine the average age demographic on this sub is late 20s and there is a night and day difference between relationships at my age and that age. Immatur
I heard a young lady comment today I hate Valentine’s day. It is a day for nothing but disappointment. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day…not even when I had a partner to share it with, so this got me thinking. We’ve stopped having several different holidays in my lifetime & now I’m wondering why we need Valentine’s Day. Is Valentine’s Day one of those days that is no longer relevant to anyone but those selling candy & sexy underwear & would anyone really miss it? If a couple is truly together as one, why do they need Valentine’s Day to express their love? Can they not buy that precious gift on their own on a day that they determine to be important? Is there any reason we still need to celebrate Valentine’s Day? Now hear me out. All it is is a giant commercial. Its only purpose is to guilt trip you into buying some overpriced gift for your SO. It also makes lonely people feel miserable. It is a useless holiday and should not br celebrated. People consent to celebrating the day. I do, my neighbor does, his neighbor does too. Are we not allowed to? People who get miserable because theyre lonely are making themselves lonely. Dont try to take things away from other people that they do that they enjoy just because youre jealous
Get rid of it. Valentine’s Day is just a marketing holiday that forces you to buy unnecessary things for your SO. That’s extra trash, plastic, and clutter that is going into the world. Also, I don’t think you should have a day to celebrate love. That’s what anniversaries are for. And that’s what everyday is for. Treat your SO throughout the year instead of limiting it to one day!
It's not like it's a day off holiday, so I'd probably keep it the same. I get that it sucks to be single during all these displays of affection, but you can definitely find ways to make your day more fun. Several years ago one if my attempts to stay entertained while single on Valentine's day got me to the front page of Reddit and everything - someone else posted about me, not a post I made myself.
My husband and I make it a point to ignore Valentine's Day. We hate the commercialism involved, and truly feel that if people appreciated each other a little more the rest of the year, that they wouldn't need a specific day to show it. That said, I would not abolish Valentine's Day. What's meaningful to one person is nothing to another, and it's not my place to take that away from anyone. I would suggest,as someone else already has, that it would be better if people found better ways to express their feelings that did not feed into the commercial aspect of the day. Make it distasteful to buy stuff and rein it in to make it about time spent together rather than the tacky and expensive romantic gesture.
Keep it. I feel like it's like Christmas: it's been corporatized all to hell and it makes one day out of a feeling that should last all year, but that's not a good enough reason to get rid of it. Sometimes you need something to be A Day, rather than spontaneous, because you can put off spontaneous things in a way you can't when a date is set in stone, and it's easier to be complacent that way.
I 29M and 22F only have recently started dating and I have planned a special date on Valentine's Day. My only issue is that I have already found faults with our chemistry. Part of me wants to stick with the plan and the other part of me does not want to waste my time or hers. I like her and I really want it to work out. I think she likes me based on our dates .. but I get a feeling that if we do get into a relationship it would not turn out great. I think it may be soon to tell since we have just started but I have so much reservations. When I talk to her about my problems, she reassures and tries to fix it. I feel happy temporarily but then I go back to feeling like it won't work out based on her behavior. Should I cancel or stick with it? Message me for more details.
It’s hard to say without knowing what your reservations about her are. But there is no harm in having a nice Valentines together, regardless of the future.
So, since she was born I have left my 12 week old daughter three times: twice with my husband (once to go to a doctor's appointment), and one with my mum and step-dad. This last time was at 6 weeks, I went for a meal with my husband for my birthday, and all went fine.
On Valentine's Day my husband is meant to be taking me out for the evening, letting me eat nom food, drink lots of wine, and have non-baby orientated conversation. Little girl is meant to be left with my mum and step-dad. However, the last two times they have been over in the evening she has started wailing inconsolably whenever they hold her. She doesn't do this with anyone else. She's never done this with them before. Other than my husband and I, these are the people she sees the most. But suddenly this behaviour has started. All I can think is perhaps she associates them being round in the evening with the last time I left her. She gets really clingy with me when they're here and even my husband can't comfort her.
I have no idea what to do. Any advice? I'm kind of scared to post to other mum groups in case I get: "Well obviously she's not ready for you to leave her, be grateful and enjoy this time, she won't want you forever!" And I get that, but... I could just do with an evening off... just a few hours.
We considered leaving her with my husband's parents, but they've all come down with a cold and I don't want to infect her. Other than that there isn't really anyone else. Plus, my parents are taking her cries kind of personally, and I think stopping them babysitting her would make that worse.
Also, I like presents. Gift-giving is one of my love languages, and I spend a lot of time putting thought into what things my boyfriend would like (I do the same on his birthday and Christmas and our anniversary). I do make him things sometimes, but I put as much effort into buying things as I do making them.
I have never been one to celebrate Valentine's day. I usually don't even remember until after it has passed. Last year, two months into my relationship, I forgot it was Valentine's day but my girlfriend did not. I was working from home when she surprised me with an edible arrangements Valentine's day delivery. It was awkward because I've never celebrated Valentine's day before, and also how is someone supposed to eat all the fruit by themselves?
I like specific holidays. If every holiday is about everything, then no holiday would be unique, and then we may as well just have all holidays be the same.
Agreed. And I really hate the stereotype that people who hate Valentine's Day are just salty about being single. I was accused of that for years, but my partner and I have been together for 8 years now and we've still never celebrated Valentine's Day even once because we find it tacky and dislike how much importance our culture places on romantic/sexual relationships over other types of relationships. Also we already spend lots of time together, go on dates, buy each other little gifts from time to time. We don't really see any reason why we should have to do all these things on that one specific day just because the calendar says we're supposed to. It's just going to end up being a way worse date because the restaurants are all crazy busy and have alternate menus that usually aren't able to accommodate my dietary needs and we don't need the extra stress of having to find another perfect gift when we've just had Christmas/his birthday and mine is coming up in a couple months.
I think the thing I hate the most is how weird other guys get about it though. I've had so many acquaintances ask me what my partner and I are doing for Valentine's Day and when I explain that we don't celebrate because it's just not our thing, they act like I told them our plans are for him to get drunk and punch me in the face. I've have so many dudes tell me that both of us choosing not to celebrate Valentines Day is somehow a reflection of his value as a romantic partner and go off on a tangent about what they would do for me one Valentine's Day if we were dating. Because completely ignoring my wishes and forcing me to participate in cultural traditions I find annoying and meaningless is soooo much better. 🙄
This year my partner took an overtime shift so that a coworker who does like Valentine's Day could spend the evening with her partner and so he could bring home some extra cash that can be put towards a new climber for our cats and if you ask me, that's a much purer expression of love than any date we could have gone on or gifts we could have given.
Valentine's Day is the only holiday specifically for lovers/couples, but we already have holidays for friends/family. Christmas and Thanksgiving especially.
I'd also argue that Valentine's Day in its current state is a symptom of society's more broken norms which see coupling up and getting married then having kids as the ultimate goal of adulthood, which of course is biased both towards monogamous people and against polyamourous, asexual or aromantic people. If Valentine's Day was abolished, the pressure to get married and have kids would still exist because it has deeper roots in our society than a single holiday.
My partner and I are long distance. We see each other roughly one long weekend a month, but I'm hoping to move to where he is soon. This month, with his work schedule I was going to stay there over Valentines Day and release of the Deadpool movie. The plan was also to do an overnight trip to his parents house.
For some backstory, his parents make me uncomfortable. A few years ago he broke up with me because they didn't like me, my weight at the time being one of the reasons. We got back together a few months ago and he promised that he wouldn't let them convince him to break-up again. I've put on some weight (still weigh less than I used to, BMI is less than 25), but am working to lose the rest.
The other day, he decided to extend his visit home to span the entire trip I was planning (Edit: to be clear, four days, vs one overnight with us leaving in the morning). One of his siblings is coming home unexpectedly. I was invited to go, but declined. His family makes me so uncomfortable I just can't be there for days. We have to sleep in separate beds there, no cuddling, no sex.
I'm very upset and resentful that our plans fell through. I was working on a homemade gift, was going to bake a bunch of treats, and was excited to bang for days. He swore that we could still Deadpool together, and begged me to not see it without him. With work and other plans, a visit the weekend after isn't feasible. I'm so hurt, that I'm thinking of asking him to call or message me until the 15th. Am I in the right to be upset? Anyways I ended up inviting her over to my place for the first time and cooking her a "Valentine's Day Dinner" and even got her some chocolates. After this weird Valentine's day I explained how I never celebrate Valentine's day, I don't understand it and gave her the consumerism spiel. She said she wasn't really big on Valentine's day either but wanted to show me how she feels. I told her she didn't have to get me anything and that I really don't enjoy Valentine's day. She respected it. All good
I agree. It doesn't even promote actual love though, just an overcommercialized facsimile of whatever the latest corporate ad campaign thinks love looks like.
I’m not religious. I’m not a prude. I’m not saying little kids shouldn’t have their little girlfriends and boyfriends or whatever. But Valentines day was heavily celebrated in my elementary school for some weird ass reason. It filled the halls with anxiety. Every year we made a little “mail box” and then people would put Valentines cards and candy in your box. This caused huge fuss obviously because people would buy extravagant valentines for eachother girls would burst into tears if Vday came and the dumb boy she had a crush on and never talked to didn’t give her a valentine. When we got old enough to be petty people would give them to a whole class and leave out the girl they hates or whatever.
So then rules were made. Regulations put on the cards. I remember one year if you gave one person a valentine you had to give one to the whole class. Then conservative parents got mad that their boy would have to send a valentine to another boy. Then they banned candy and people got in trouble for giving their friends candy secretly. On and on every year some knew thing happened and parents kept one upping eachother with how extravagant the cards and gifts were (I went to a public school with a lot of rich kids whose parents love them too much.) So I ask-
Why are we entertaining this? It’s not a holiday that really applies to children at all in the same way it does for adults. We should just skip it in school. I know some teachers are just praying for another day they can bust out the crayons and give out candy so they can get some deserved rest but maybe we should cool it on Valentines day. I know drama happens anyways in school but the school should do it’s best to minimize this for similar reason I don’t really endorse prom kings and queens or Hollywood style auditions for school plays. Just too much drama for immature people to handle folks.
People who complain about Valentines day are more annoying, like we get it, you're lonely and you wished someone brought you chocolates. I'm lonely asf too but I'm not going to go on an essay long rant about how this day sucks because Tiffany wrote a paragraph on how she's lucky to have her boyfriend of five months and how Tom gave Becky a large teddy bear saying 'I heart you'.
I usually wrote pretty much the same thing on every card. One little boy took it very personal & he stalked me for years because he thought I loved him. We were in the 2nd grade. After that kid, I became EXTREMELY careful what I wrote on any card!!! On his card, I’d choose the most generic card in the pack, I stopped adding a note & I stopped signing my name opting to just use my first initial so he couldn’t prove that it came from me. After my experience with him, I got to where I’d have anxiety attacks just before Valentine’s Day every year.
My husband & I NEVER celebrated Valentine’s Day on the day. We’d buy special little gifts for each other all throughout the year. For me, that was a LOT more special than buying a gift when expected to buy it!!! As I’d be heading off to work in the morning, he’d hand me a special lunch that he had made for me & when I ate it, I’d find a special little note telling me how much he loved me & what I meant to him & how he couldn’t wait until I would get home that evening. There was NO store bought Valentine card that could even touch his note!!! We didn’t need a pre chosen day out of the year to express our love for each other. As a matter of fact, he had been dead for just over a year when I found a card hidden in the very back of a cabinet. It was a Happy Birthday card with the sweetest note written on it & I found it on my birthday. So, even in death, he was still sending me special messages!!!
Due to everything that has happened in my life, I hold NO special affinity for Valentines Day!!! I still spontaneously buy little gifts for friends all throughout the year just to say “I’m thinking
'Oh I hate Valentines day because everyone is so fake and only buys their loves ones cute things once a year just because of society'. Some people just straight up say they hate the day because they're single and they're triggered by all these couples. Okay, lets all cancel Christmas because I have no family to celebrate it with.
It's as consumerist as you choose to celebrate it, just like any holiday. My husband and I usually go out to dinner at a nice restaurant and enjoy a romantic date night together. Sometimes he'll send a bouquet of my favorite flowers for my desk at work. I love a reason to celebrate and Valentine's falls in that perfect slump when everyone's down because of terrible weather and cabin fever.
I like celebrating holidays, but I mostly agree. I’m always shocked at how much people do for Valentine’s Day. My parents still do chocolates, cards, flowers, etc. and it just all seems so gimmicky and impersonal to me. I understand wanting to celebrate, I love celebrating, but the mindless consumption is what gets me. My SO and I “celebrate” by cooking a fancier meal than usual and watching a movie or show.
I feel like everyone is looking at this the wrong way. He was making a nice gesture with the dinner and planning your Valentine’s Day and you basically said that you don’t care about gifts at all but ignored his enthusiasm. It sounds like he had things planned and you hurt his feelings by not reciprocating his enthusiasm. You could have made something handmade or got him something cheap instead of just saying no to something he was obviously excited about. He probably feels like he is the only one putting in effort.
I've been seeing this guy for about a month. We went on 5 dates. He asked me to hang out this week but I was busy. He asked for Saturday then, and I said sure. He asked it so quickly, I'm sure he forgot it was Valentine's day, but I just thought whatever it would be fun to have a date then. The next day he asks if we can switch the date because his company wants to do a Saturday evening work call. It was a really lame excuse, and I was a bit upset. I don't think we had to make a big deal out of the day, we could have kept it casual. We didn't define what we were doing at all. I just wrote back that I was busy and maybe another time then. I haven't heard back from him. I'm worried I was being a bit harsh and I should have given him a pass. On the other hand, I feel like it's pretty dick to cancel after asking me out. I think he was panicking because he didn't want to make us look too serious. What do you suggest? Should I give him a pass on this one, and reach out to him to reschedule, or do I wait and let him come to me again? I find it awkward because my friends will brag to me about the “surprises” (gifts) their boyfriends got them and Im really not romantic anyways, so I never know what to say. I’m not really impressed by gifts that can be found on end caps or the generic go tos, so I feel like I have to fake excitement for them to not seem bitchy or holier than thou. I mean, do a dozen roses from the grocery store bought out of a feeling of obligation really say “love”?
1 year later....Valentine's day is here, and of course I didn't know once again. She never spoke to me about it, and we would usually laugh about the edible arrangements story if ever brought up in the course of the last year. I didn't get an edible arrangements delivery today, and there was no mention of Valentine's day, we just texted throughout the day as usual. Then, just a few minutes ago I get a long paragraph about how she knows I don't like Valentine's day but she was still expecting me to do something for her. She said she told herself not to expect anything, but I never acknowledged it was Valentine's day, and deep down she was expecting me to come surprise her at work or something.
Dude. Im in my early 20s, relationships rarely ever last at this age. Maybe yall got the wrong impression of me. Im not some fat slob old fart whos sitting at my desk chewing my nails wondering what shes doing. Im here because I want this to last. But if it doesnt im not gonna cry over it. I still go out and have fun (maybe a little too much) and girls are plentiful. And maybe some people here are right, I need to break out of the short term mindset and start thinking long term. But ill tell yall one thing. I dont know how old you are but id imagine the average age demographic on this sub is late 20s and there is a night and day difference between relationships at my age and that age. Immatur
