Not sure I was supposed to make it to age 29 but yet here I still am

I feel like I should have been dead a long time ago either by some mental illness, idealistic endeavor, drug overdose, or sacrifice for someone etc.


My whole life for a long time was enjoying being young and I really felt like it was gonna last forever. Didn't really put much thought into older age and yet here I am not being sure what to do with myself.


I'm not really fond of growing older much less getting married or having kids.