I Am Married But Lonely

We started as friends with benefits, ecstasy and laughter so pure, but over time it became more friends, less benefits for sure. The friendship is awesome, strong and true, but I miss the touch of me and you. She says that she's scared of hurting our bond. I can't show her the scars her denial has spawned. So we laugh and we drink and pretend it's alright, but tears hit my pillow sometimes at night. What did I do? Why am I not worthy? Do I push for these answers or carry on sternly? I love her, I need her. I'll take what I get, but sometimes I wish that we'd never met.