I Live In a Sexless Marriage

@indyjoe well we don't share anything other than religion. I haven't had a hug in sooo many years. I haven't been allowed even a grandma kiss in so many years.

That is such a shame, I'm so sorry to hear that. My wife is a very loving, caring, and affectionate person. She loves hugging, kissing, handholding gentle pats and caresses, and so on...and she does like and enjoy sex. But the truth is that most of the time if sex takes place, it's me who's idea it is and initiates it. If I wait for her to do it then it won't happen. She has turned me down more times than she has responded favorably...she is just not a sexually motivated person and I've learned to accept that about her. The sex is very good when we do have it and neither of us has a complaint, I do sometimes wish it were more often and that I didn't always have to do most of the "work" though.

@indyjoe I enjoy sex, just no longer with him, he makes sure its not enjoyable for me, but at the moment, I haven't had sex since I was 29.

I was submissive before my marriage. After being rejected, I feel more rejected and I hate being assertive, sexually.

so I can relate to both sides.

Being submissive I can understand and appreciate. I just like it when a woman lets it be known (through words and actions) that she is in the mood and asks for it and or does the seducing. It is nice to know that she wants it and she wants it with me. It's also nice when a woman does things to and for me just to surprise me or because she knows I want and need it out of a gesture of love. Does that make sense?

@indyjoe yes, I understand. You want to feel desired. Like you're worth putting time into.

@darktippedrose Exactly (contrary to the popular belief and opinion- we guys need that too just like women). Don't get me wrong, my wife makes me feel loved, desired, and appreciated in so many different ways; but sexually can be lacking sometimes. However, I guess if that's the only "complaint" I have, then I'm counting my blessings.🤠

@indyjoe My complaints are many I guess. And thats why I focus on me and my kids.

I replied to another post just now saying that my wife could tell my ex wife exactly what she trashed and threw away...I think (if you don't my me saying so) your husband needs to learn that...and quick. It is so nice to talk with an understanding and kind person such as yourself.🤠

@indyjoe Thank you. I appreciate it. I've talked with my husband's ex-wife. He wasn't good to her. Yes, she cheated on him, but he was no angel himself.

And we have similare experiences with my husband, especially as a father to our kids.

Unfortunately most people like that never open their eyes and change...It's a sad but true fact of life.

@indyjoe yeah I don't think that he will either. Sometimes I look at my kids and step-kids and shake it off when I see too much of him in them. I just hope they have enough positive influence to shake it off.

Hopefully they will. I know that I am the way I am now, not because I had positive influences per se (though I observed and learned from others in good relationships), but because of the things I went through and I determined early on that I'd never want anyone to go through that because of me.

@indyjoe yes I understand. I think thats part of why I'm still in my bad marriage. I don't want my kids to have my childhood.