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What's the best way to break up with someone you're not in a relationship with?

We met on an app. We've been dating long distance for a few weeks. I told him I was only interested in dating with the intention for marriage and children. He said he was too, but he can't be sure of where we stand until we've actually spent some time together in person, so we talked about him coming to visit. Since then he's been dragging his feet about making solid plans. I finally forced him to pin down a date and he's looking into flight costs. Anyway, I just had this epiphany that having him visit will be a disaster. He doesn't want this to be serious because if he did, he would be the one pushing things forward instead of me. I want to call things off but suggest that we remain friends. We have a lot of shared interests, values, and cultural background. What's the best way to do this? I don't want to have some big blowup, and I don't want him to see this as an ultimatum. I've made my decision.
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CassandraSissy · 26-30, TVIP
Sweetie, some people just need a bit of a kick up the arse - gently or otherwise - to get things moving. It doesn't mean that they're bad people or anything like that. People can get scared for just the most irrational reasons.

I'd say meet him, give him a chance and then see.

I mean, as an example, myself and Matt. He was the one that said that we should move in together. Me? I've never lived with people other than my parents....and, with him being a 'man's man', would he not like seeing me naked in the morning? Without makeup? Would I just be annoying to live with? Would I just be moaning on and on all the time?

So, after a conversation with my mum and dad - essentially [i]'..Cass, stop being a diva. He really likes you. Give it a go..'[/i] - I did move in with him. Then we got a place together and, boom, 3 years have passed and we're very happy together.

Life can be like going out on a date - everything planned and looking forward to it - or doing your homework - procrastinating, dragging your feet but you know it's going to change your life. This is how we're wired. It doesn't mean that people are anything [i]less[/i] than the other, it just means that they need some encouragement. That's all...

I needed encouragement in my situation....and now? Life [i]without[/i] Matt? Couldn't imagine life [i]before[/i] Matt let alone if we split up.

Just my thoughts...

Cassandra xx
blindbob · 41-45
@CassandraSissy it doesn't look like he's coming after all. he hasn't even purchased the tickets and phone calls have lessened.