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What's the best way to break up with someone you're not in a relationship with?

We met on an app. We've been dating long distance for a few weeks. I told him I was only interested in dating with the intention for marriage and children. He said he was too, but he can't be sure of where we stand until we've actually spent some time together in person, so we talked about him coming to visit. Since then he's been dragging his feet about making solid plans. I finally forced him to pin down a date and he's looking into flight costs. Anyway, I just had this epiphany that having him visit will be a disaster. He doesn't want this to be serious because if he did, he would be the one pushing things forward instead of me. I want to call things off but suggest that we remain friends. We have a lot of shared interests, values, and cultural background. What's the best way to do this? I don't want to have some big blowup, and I don't want him to see this as an ultimatum. I've made my decision.
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I’m so confused. Just tell him everything you just said. Be honest. If he gets mad then he can go away and figure out how to get glad again.
blindbob · 41-45
@Pinkstarburst haha! i guess this is more on me. normally, i would just space things out until he figured out it was over, but i genuinely do want to remain friends because it's been a really long time since i've met someone that i have so many shared interests with. i have really enjoyed just talking about what we're reading and the indie films we both are really into and stuff like that. plus, we come from the same vantage point about cultural things, so it's nice to feel less alone in that regard.