I told him if we have children, we're going to add the months of pregnancy & breastfeeding and when I'm done he's going to be their primary caregiver

for the next months combined. After that we'll be even and do everything on the same level.
So if I'm pregnant for 9 months and nurse for 6 months, he's going to do most of the work for the next 15 months.

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Miram · 31-35, F

This was fine and fair, until I read you think he should have them after a divorce.

It feels like children are being treated like work and a burden.

You may not be ready to be a mother. Mothering is more than a set of tasks and responsibilities. Parenting in general is more than that..it requires deep emotional attachement and it does offer joy. Ideally this would be approached as something you love to do, not have to do.

writhe

@Miram I told him that because I wanted to see if he's actually willing to be a parent. If and when this happens, nobody knows under shat kind of circumstances. However it is more iften than not that if a divorce occurs, the mother takes the children no questions asked. People take that for granted. For men, it's easy to say they want to have children. But are they really ready to give their all?
And adding to that, his job would make it easier to support having the kids full time. With my job, once you clock in sometimes you don't know when you're going to clock out.
Saying that, it's true I'm unsure if I'm fit to become a parent, but I'm sure that he is.