Should adultery be punished by law?

@Greenbare: those vows are way outdated. My vows didn't include that. I didn't even say I would obey him let alone make him say he should support me or that a would bear HIS children.

You want a spouse to stay faithful then give them all the reasons to do it, not because some $3.00 piece of paper says you have to.

@Quietrumble: no one just moves on after a divorce. A family is damaged.

@Dreammmer: I understand what you are saying but what do u do? Go around and tell everybody your divorce story and get to say he/she was even found guilty of cheating on me? Do people go around and say he/she was found guilty of beating me or not giving me sex? It didn't work...either get caught up in the past or move on to a person who can do it. No community service is gonna make somebody not ever cheat again and to get caught up in something like that is psycho.

@Quietrumble: beating a spouse is forbidden by law. Refraining from sex is not a crime and many couples can't have sex for various reasons. If adultery is a serious crime, then why not punish it? Do you really think that the threat of punishment doesn't keep anyone from committing a crime? Then abolish all laws?

@Dreammmer: I'm sorry but the threat of community service isn't enough to make me not cheat if I wanted to and to be hung up on making my ex do community service for cheating would make me a crazy bitter woman. The marriage fails in many areas before a person cheats and that's the real reason a marriage ends.

@Quietrumble: Who speaks of community service? My question was about a punishment. So you believe that cheating is justified by being unhappy in a marriage? You really believe that people only cheat because they are unhappy at home or have given up? I think you should read some surveys about cheating, the majority say sth different. Besides that is not at all the point of my question, when a marriage is failed and what is the reason for divorce. My question is about whether adultery is a serious matter that should be punished by law thereby making clear that it is an offense and that endangering a marriage is a serious matter.

That's all a person will get for committing adultery is community service. As far as endangering the marriage, it's already over if a person does go out and do it.

@Quietrumble: I agree. But how will people understand the high value of faithfulness in a marriage if there no sanction for adultery? Do you think that is a just punishment for adultery, community service?

You cannot hold punishment over a persons head as a way to keep a person faithful or in love with you. And I think the most a person would be required to do is community service. The courts would never jail a person or tar and feather a person these days for that. In the state of New Jersey they don't care why you want a divorce. It's irreconcilable differences and that's it.

@Quietrumble: I agree. But you can encourage people to value marriage and you can make clear by punishment that a real offense was committed. In other aspects of life you have also the threat of punishment. Can you force someone not to take revenge or kill another person? I dont think so. But you still agree that it is important to punish beating up another person out of revenge or kiling that person.

we are gonna go around in circles on this. If my husband did that to me I would be certain to hang "I am limp" banners all over his house. What am I saying is a court cannot make have a person have morals. You either have them or you don't.

@Quietrumble: Agreed, a court cannot make people have morals. But a society is based on morals and there are punishments for many things where people are victims or other being immoral. I think that even though people do not have morals they do the right thing often because they fear punishment or because they have been punished and never want that to happen again.

When they’re respected by their spouse. @Dreammmer

Not everyone has the same morals. Some people when unhappy move on. That’s the way it is. If you don’t want to lose your spouse don’t take them for granted. Then that should also be a crime. @Dreammmer