Ok a friend just came to me with a problem, who's at fault here between her and her bf? What can be of help?

Their both good people. I'm actually friends with him as well oddly enough.

Keep extream feminisem and douche dude-ness outta this. Real opinions.

They've been together a few years now and she's still very SHY about certain THINGS and can't even TALK TO HIM in a... Dirty kinda way without being all... Well shy.
(God I hate talking about this stuff but I'm trying to help her. No R rated replies okay?)

And it bothers him cause they be been together so long and yet she hasn't changed much on the subject. Believe me he's a good guy, Just this... ADULT S subject is important to him.

Its not like their gonna brake up over it but it just has caused some problems and a bit unhappiness at times.

They know each other 100%. All problems their may be and all.

Their in love and seem like they will always be. Its just as I said its causing some problems.

Should she find a way to cope and get over some things for him? (Not everything of course)

Or should he just completly be mute on the subject and deal with it even if it secretly bothers him deeply but he would be willing to suffer silently?

(Probably both are willing to suffer silently to be honest)

He's not nasty about it. He has just openly talked about that there's certain things he wants and that it bothers him she's still very shy on the subject?

So advice I can give to her?

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belly4babygirl · 26-30, F

Honestly?
1. You should let them solve their own problems.
2. Seeing as you and your friends are either 21 or under, they probably won't be in love or together forever. People change and so do feelings.
3. If she's not comfortable with talking or doing any of the things he wants, then he should respect her and wait until she is ready and comfortable to do so if he really does love her as much as you say he does.

DeathAngelS300 · 26-30, F

I know, but they've been here over and over and can't seem to get anywhere so I'm trying to help.

They plan to stick together.

She's 20 and he just turned 26.

I think he is gonna wait, it just bothers him that after years it hasn't changhed. But yeah I get you.

belly4babygirl · 26-30, F

I'm sure she's grateful for you trying to help her, it's really nice of you.

If he really wants more than what she is willing to offer, maybe he needs to just be honest with her? Ask her why she's uncomfortable? Maybe ask what he can do to make her more comfortable with him? Start slow? Sexual relationships for people who are shy can be a really difficult thing. They tend to feel vulnerable and once your virginity is gone, that's it. It is a very personal thing. He should talk to her, have a heart-to-heart about how each of them feels about this situation.

curiosi · 61-69, F

He's NOT being unreasonable. When you have been together for a time usually it's relaxed and you let down your guard. It may be that is what is bothering him most, that after all this time she is not comfortable.

DeathAngelS300 · 26-30, F

Yeah exactly.
This is pretty much it.
Its just they've both had things happen in their lives that have... Effect their feelings and views on things.

She's that way for a reason but it bothers her as well cause she wants to make him happy but can't brake this... Thing.

I still don't know what to tell her.

curiosi · 61-69, F

@DeathAngelS300: She's got to be who she is at her core. She should however self examine to see if the cause is she doesn't like it or if shyness is getting in her way. Then she can approach him. If she doesn't like it then they will have to compromise, if it is plain shyness then she needs to work on herself.

Cooper802Forever · 22-25, M

You could try talking to her more and attempt to get deeper into the reason why she is still like shy and stuff...like figuring out the cause could help you try and give her some advice, but if she just gives you half-hearted answers if you try to go a bit deeper to find out to help her and stuff then I suggest backing out if she's not going to spill the tea...cause you kinda need some knowledge of her and her feelings to really attempt to help/give advice...

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

Help her practice talking dirty. If its that important to him, it will continue to come up. I know its so awkward when you're shy, but she can try. Once she gets comfortable with a few short phrases, and he never, ever laughs at her, she might actually enjoy it and start saying more. She just needs to practice a couple things. imho.

DeathAngelS300 · 26-30, F

This actually seems like some decent advice...

And oh no I can't XD I'm worse then even her LMAO

rottenrobi · 56-60, F

it was super hard for me to do it too, but after some practice, I'm now fluent in dirty talk. lol. She can be too.

Tonydang · M

I honestly think she needs to relax a little easier said than done I know and I'm not taking sides but he might go looking for it elsewhere just my opinion

yellowstone

Try role playing first to get more comfortable with opening up more with her sexual verbalness. He also shouldn't pressure her so much.

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

If they can't accept, and I mean wholeheartedly, then they shouldn't be together.

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