Go with heart or head?

Ok so I was in a downward slope for 20 years in a marriage. Started seeing my g/f 4 years ago. We fell in love an I filed for a divorce. Not necessarily because of her but she was the prize at the end of the tunnel for sure. I left the house 11/16, eventually rented a Condo on the river, sunsets were gorgeous! But just before g/f was going to move in full time, it started getting hard to talk to her AND the wife changed 180 degrees.. between hormones and what the Church was saying was wrong about marriage. And tge hormones brought her out of a 20 year depression.
My mind convinced me to move back home. My heart is still with the g/f for the most part. But the wife hasn't really had a chance to change the heart but has potiental. Now as a guy, the stuff an comfort is important to me, with the g/f it would be a few years before I could get back to a lifestyle I was comfortable with....
So after all that, heart or head?

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Greentealemondade · 56-60, F

I don't think your question is black and white, 20 years and you're still not fulfilled isn't promising. I'm guessing you both would need counseling to fix problems. Reconciliation might be ok at first but you'll still find yourself in the same spot. You're going to have to weigh positive and negative of both. I feel your pain and understand your confusion. But I think there will need to be soul searching and that is always difficult. My thoughts are with you 😌

CaptMike2 · M

Many tries at counseling, but that was during the depression. I appriciate your kind words.. and yea it's very hard

Greentealemondade · 56-60, F

Yes I've been there with the counseling and I understand there are many possible issues on the table-children, family, a home, finances, reputation. Maybe a counselor of your own to help you sort out the issues of most concern could guide you. I know, there's a lot at stake

CaptMike2 · M

@Greentealemondade: I have decided to take your advice and seek counseling

CaptMike2 · M

Going to a counselor on Tuesday! Free consultation see if I like him, and another appointment week after. See which one I like the best, but times running out. I might have to go with the guy on Tuesday..