To have someone look at me and see more than the woman I present to the world.
To be seen as sexy. Sensual. Beautiful, inside and out.
To feel that little warmth beneath my skin when someone notices the softness in me, the spark, the intelligence, the kindness. When someone sees that I am loving and playful and passionate and still capable of making another person want to move closer.
You gave me that feeling for so long.
You made me feel beautiful in a way that went far beyond my body. You saw all of me. My mind. My heart. My humor. My tenderness. My hunger. You made me feel wanted, understood, and known.
And God, I miss you.
I miss you so much that sometimes it feels like an actual wound. I still wish we could have found a way to keep our connection. I wish what we shared had mattered enough for you to reach for another possibility instead of letting me go.
But you weren’t willing. And that makes me unbearably sad.
Because I didn’t want to stop being the woman you saw when you looked at me. I didn’t want to lose the way I came alive inside your attention.
But perhaps I didn’t lose her. Perhaps she was never yours to take with you.
Because even in the absence of you, I am beginning to remember that I am still here.
Still sensual. Still desirable. Still warm and loving and kind. Still beautiful. Still capable of turning someone’s head and quickening someone’s pulse. Still capable of feeling that delicious spark of being wanted.
It doesn’t make me miss you less.
It doesn’t replace you. No one could. You are still the one I want, the one I will always want, even if you were not willing to share the real friendship I wanted us to have beyond words on a screen.
It doesn’t erase what we were.
And it doesn’t mean I would choose anyone else over you. My heart is still yours in ways I cannot simply undo.
But there is something healing in remembering that the beauty you saw in me did not disappear when you did.
It is still mine.
And even with my heart aching for you, it feels good to remember that I am beautiful still.
@JoyfulSilence Thank you. I’m not looking, and I don’t want to find anything like that again. I have love in my life. I have a good life. I’m through with any online dalliances. I only want friends who are real, online and off.
@ChampagneOnIce Re-kindled may not have been the best choice of words. But something that was that good surely won't be forgotten. I know I sure wouldn't.
