Yesterday I upset Shane because I’d posted the picture of his cock. Apparently when he said I could show anyone I wanted he didn’t mean on here. He had already shown his bestie my cunt 🤷🏼♀ and his work friends the pictures of my bruises from our session. His reasoning is she is a body piercer and had a professional curiosity and my bruises weren’t showing anything. I disagree as I wouldn’t have them out on display in public.
Anyway I took it straight down and apologised for the miscommunication. But he’d ignored me all day rather than tell me he was upset. Once he admitted it I tried calling twice and he didn’t pick up. He did call me back later but my that time the full on dreaded sinking panic had already over taken me.
We talked for 2 hours and he said he still wanted me to come over tonight and I felt better. Today I can see he’s reading my messages but is now really slow to respond and hasn’t answered my last one over an hour ago.
Even if I’m blowing things out of proportion and he doesn’t want to break up with me. I do not like this childish behaviour and being made to feel this way. My last ex emotional abused me for 6 months mainly by ignoring me and not coming home and I almost didn’t survive it. I never wanted to feel like that again and thought I’d be stronger.
I don’t even think I’ve fallen that hard for him yet. So this fucking feeling is nothing compared to what it could be.
To make matters more complicated I told Rob I was seeing Shane. He seems okay with it and would like to stay friends and go see the new demon slayer next weekend. He’s messaged me lots today just as Shane is ignoring me 🥺
I feel like I’m heading full speed into a disaster. When I wanted to take my time. 😭
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