I'm struggling to move on, what do I do?
I was recently set up with a girl by my sister. She’s from London, and I’m from Nigeria. We spent a few days together and got along really well. We had deep conversations about our goals, values, and ideal partners, and it became clear that we both liked each other.
During our time together, she shared that she doesn’t want to have a male friend but someone to build a future with. I agreed with her and suggested we discuss it further once she was more relaxed, as she was stressed before leaving.
We talked about the challenges of a long-distance relationship, the difficulty of visiting each other, and concerns about her family’s acceptance of a relationship with someone far away. I expressed some hesitation about involving parents until we figured things out. She agreed with me on that, but eventually, she told me that, given the circumstances, it’s better for us to stop talking for now. She said that even if we’re not meant to be, she would still like to stay in touch occasionally.
The reason she wanted to stop talking is because of our shared religious values. In Islam, dating is not allowed without involving the parents first, and because of the challenges we’ve discussed, we felt that now is not the right time to involve parents yet.
I respect her decision, and while I’m hurt and sad, I understand that it aligns with her values and religion. She also mentioned that if it’s meant to be, it will happen in time, by God’s will.
The problem I’m facing is that I tend to fall deeply for someone quickly, often attaching myself emotionally in a short period. I’m struggling to move on and not to fixate on the idea of what could have been. How can I handle the emotional aftermath of this, especially when I get attached so easily?
During our time together, she shared that she doesn’t want to have a male friend but someone to build a future with. I agreed with her and suggested we discuss it further once she was more relaxed, as she was stressed before leaving.
We talked about the challenges of a long-distance relationship, the difficulty of visiting each other, and concerns about her family’s acceptance of a relationship with someone far away. I expressed some hesitation about involving parents until we figured things out. She agreed with me on that, but eventually, she told me that, given the circumstances, it’s better for us to stop talking for now. She said that even if we’re not meant to be, she would still like to stay in touch occasionally.
The reason she wanted to stop talking is because of our shared religious values. In Islam, dating is not allowed without involving the parents first, and because of the challenges we’ve discussed, we felt that now is not the right time to involve parents yet.
I respect her decision, and while I’m hurt and sad, I understand that it aligns with her values and religion. She also mentioned that if it’s meant to be, it will happen in time, by God’s will.
The problem I’m facing is that I tend to fall deeply for someone quickly, often attaching myself emotionally in a short period. I’m struggling to move on and not to fixate on the idea of what could have been. How can I handle the emotional aftermath of this, especially when I get attached so easily?
