How to tell my boyfriend I kinda don't want to marry him next year?

He is very excited about it but the truth is that as much as I love him the situation is kinda funny.
1.We didn't met yet because we live on different continents
2.We will meet soon but he won't even stay the whole year with me, because he has to go back, and break the news to his parents who believe I will move in US (but that's not in our plan)
3.He will stay like 2 months with me, he will be gone for 2 months and come back again but I am kinda afraid of all this.
I know him since a while, more than 2 years and I don't want to lose him but I am too childish and I feel unprepared for this.

Many bad things happen in my life and I have to take care of everything, not to mention the money issue, I'm going to start my business in a few months and is going to be HECTIC.

I just want to delay it a bit.I want to spend more time with him, I would marry him anyway but I don't like being "rushed".

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Mugin16 · 46-50, M

Then tell him that. I don't think it is a good idea at all to marry a person you have never met before. After the two months together, you will know each other better and make a decision.

Fabiola · 26-30, F

I know him plenty, and he knows me too but the real life experience is going to be different, a lot different.
I trust him, I don't think I am making a mistake but is ODD just to jump into this like that.
WORSE he said, maybe we can save money and stay together.
WHAT?WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So, I hug him in the airport and next thing you know he is in my flat. lol
He said he would sleep on the floor and all that but still...same flat..I kinda just met him I need to get myself together.

Then again, I love him so much and he is leaving his life behind just to be with me so...

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Fabiola: Can you live with him first or does the visa situation make that difficult?

Fabiola · 26-30, F

They are no issues, he comes in my country, the country where he was born in.
His family left Eastern Europe when he was 7 years old to chase the american dream.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Fabiola: Living together would be a mistake, I think. Better stay seperate at least in the beginning.

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Fabiola: In that case, I would definitely wait. In my experience you never truly know a person until you have lived together. You are really young and waiting a year or so would not kill you and would probably even be good for your relationship. You need to feel confident about this decision and living together successfully will give you that.

Fabiola · 26-30, F

@Mugin16: I KNOW.He acts all so excited while I want to hide under a freaking blanket.

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Mugin16: LOL. The opposite of my advice. She already knows the guy, surely living together is the obvious next step before marriage?

Fabiola · 26-30, F

@Burnley123: He will have to wait.

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Fabiola: I think that is better for both of you. You have good intentions and I wish you the best of luck.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Burnley123: Yes, but not if you have never met in your life! Speaking on the phone or Skype or chatting online is one thing, being together in the real world something completely different.

Fabiola · 26-30, F

@Burnley123: Thank you, you are very kind.

Fabiola · 26-30, F

@Mugin16: It can be different, he will have to understand.Oh shit, taking him down from could 9 is going to be hard.

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Mugin16: Well... Skype is interaction the same as dating in the main sense. They are already wanting to get married so living together first would be my advice. Perhaps we agree to disagree though. No worries here my friend.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Burnley123: No worries at all. My point is that once you live together you have far less privacy and you are always together. Sometimes it is good to have some space and time for yourself.

Burnley123 · 41-45, M

@Fabiola: Yes it could be but unfortunately we all have to do things like this sometimes. Its not easy but he loves you and you love him. You have good reasons and I am sure he will understand.

It is an awkward situation but dealing with this now is the right choice for both of you.

LadyGrace ·

@Fabiola: That is so totally unrealistic that he will continue to sleep on the floor. This whole thing is really a bad idea, I'm sorry to say.