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Should I give up on my ex?

Me and my ex have a very long & complicated history that spans to about 2 years now. We've been through like 3 breakups (with the latest breakup being the definitive one that's stuck) yet we continue to talk almost every single day. We have issues on a romantic level, but generally we can talk about literally anything on a platonic level & have ourselves a good time. She's a wonderful friend to have, and we both make it apparent to one another that we still are madly in love with each other. For example, we both agreed that we shouldn't do anything special for Valentine's Day but we still wound up spending the day together anyways. She is a very deep person once u get to know her... The only problem is that while we have romantic issues in regards to intimacy, she also is a very busy person during the span of a day. She's essentially her mother's caregiver and there are days we go without talking because of how busy & exhausting it can be for her on some days. And while I try to be understanding in regards to this, I sometimes get the impression that if I was to commit myself to her for the long-term, that I would be met with disappointment since she commits so much of her time & self to taking care of her mom and home. Which isn't an issue to me at all, but I wish she found more ways to make me feel like an important part of her life. I honestly don't feel very... important or valuable to her life at all. It's hard to explain, but a part of me wishes she would acknowledge what exactly it is that we share. Just so I know where I stand in her life... like, I know it sounds selfish but a part of me feels like if I was as important to her as she claims, that she would find ways to make more time for me during some days or find ways to make me feel like a bigger part of her life by this point. I try not to impose these thoughts to her since we've been on & off again for almost two years, but deep down I honestly had hoped that by this point maybe I would be a bigger part of her life & vice versa. I don't wish to talk to her all day every day or anything like that, but I want to feel more important than only being given one single part of the day to chat with her. Most people who are in love typically [i]want[/i] to spend more time together than that, right? I end up feeling used & controlled when I'm the one sitting there waiting for a response from her at the end of the day.... I know that she loves me but I honestly don't know if I can keep waiting and waiting for something to happen like this. I love her to death but if something doesn't change soon, I don't think I can continue to wait for something that may never even happen. We don't even talk on messaging apps like normal people do, she keeps our talking limited to either email or a youtube playlists [b]even though she has a freaking phone.[/b] That only started happening after the breakup though, as she felt that "my actions should have consequences". She's the one who makes the decision as to what we do, where we talk & the such... I don't have much of a say in the matter. There's no way I'm going to wait until her mother passes before making that next step. But at the rate things are going atm, it sure seems like the only plan she's got. Idk if it helps but she's a fearful avoidant so that makes matters a tad bit more complicated as well. I'm at a loss though at the end of the day.

What should I do? Give up on her & find someone who can make that time for me that I am looking for? Or should I try to ride this out, and see where it brings me for a little while longer? I love her so much but I just want to feel important to someone again... I wish for my presence to be valued & wanted by someone again. It doesn't feel very [i]wanted[/i] by her on some days like today, where I haven't heard a word from her in about three days. (To be fair she did warn me in advance that she had family coming over to stay the night, but still...)
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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M
I can't tell you too finish with her completely or not . That's not my choice only you know that .
What I can say is that you mentioned a few times 1. You love her and she loves you .
2. You don't feel important .
3. You feel controlled .
4. She's a deep person .
Your a young man I'm gonna tell you that .
What I'm gonna say to you don't leave this ruin your life cause it happens especially if you loved someone and you didn't feel important .
I'm gonna tell you that feeling is a complete " bone crusher mentally " and if you don't do something it could take you years to get over it especially if you loved someone .
I'm gonna tell you another thing with that woman . It looked looks like it seems to be on all her terms and that's why you feel controlled .
She can reel you in like a fishing rod anytime she wants too and your part with that and no fault of her she's after making you feel insecure and that's where all the doubt comes in and why you can't answer the question for yourself cause she's after reeling you in emotionally like a fishing rod .
Also why and you answered it yourself you said she's deep and deep people can detach very easily and why is she deep cause she's caring for her mother ' Stress' .
See I can't tell you what to do and I won't cause all of that you have decide for yourself .
I had something similar and ended up off my game for a few years . The not feeling important part no.1 and after coming out the other side of it these days I'm after getting a deep person now no 2 I can detach easily now .
Do you know why I said I can answer you cause I don't know . My experience I ended up in a psyche ward for 6 weeks after it finished and a lot more happened before and after that in the relationship. That's my experience. That's why I can't say nothing cause it could work out for you but I told you my experience when it didn't work out and it was about 6 months later after the break up it hit me and ended up in the psyche ward .
If ye get on great that's a bonus but don't leave it go sour . That's all I can say
TheMasterMan1 · 22-25, M
@riseofthemachine I definitely won't let it just go sour & leave abruptly, we tried that before & we still inevitably found our way back to each other. I feel as if she is able to detach from me incredibly easily in the way you described, and I won't doubt that she has her own emotions & the such to process when considering why this may happen. However because everything is on her terms, I don't feel the initiative or drive to keep having hope for something more between us. I have offered to be there for her & help with all sorts of things as much as I possibly can but she only lets me in oh so much. So there really isn't any point in trying to make anything work out on a romantic level as long as she's the one wearing the pants in the relationship. I don't like being reeled in just to face the same conclusion as before. So therefore I think I'm just gonna give love a break for a while... maybe have some no-strings attached relations here & there but nothing serious for the foreseeable future.
riseofthemachine · 41-45, M
@TheMasterMan1 See my friend when someone is very deep , a lot of the time there stressed ' or you can say in there head a lot ' especially caring for her mother and when someone else approaches them with love they could be afraid of breaking down and crying cause they have so much going on that's why they can detach very easily .
She's not showing you that she cant love . She probably tired of it too much showing love to her mother especially if she's a carer .
Love is the most hardest thing in life too do .
People say it's easy . It's far from that cause it ends up the way you described the post you sent ending up doubting everything and turning everything in on yourself .
Do you get me now ?
I'm not biased by no means but I'm gonna tell you another thing it's much easier for woman to get more attention that men .
Woman can get that easier , and you then could end up being wipe out
riseofthemachine · 41-45, M
@TheMasterMan1 I'm gonna tell you . I had suicide thoughts constantly for a year and half after a break up . Mine ended up sour . It was 6 months after it hit me then