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Should I give up on my ex?

Me and my ex have a very long & complicated history that spans to about 2 years now. We've been through like 3 breakups (with the latest breakup being the definitive one that's stuck) yet we continue to talk almost every single day. We have issues on a romantic level, but generally we can talk about literally anything on a platonic level & have ourselves a good time. She's a wonderful friend to have, and we both make it apparent to one another that we still are madly in love with each other. For example, we both agreed that we shouldn't do anything special for Valentine's Day but we still wound up spending the day together anyways. She is a very deep person once u get to know her... The only problem is that while we have romantic issues in regards to intimacy, she also is a very busy person during the span of a day. She's essentially her mother's caregiver and there are days we go without talking because of how busy & exhausting it can be for her on some days. And while I try to be understanding in regards to this, I sometimes get the impression that if I was to commit myself to her for the long-term, that I would be met with disappointment since she commits so much of her time & self to taking care of her mom and home. Which isn't an issue to me at all, but I wish she found more ways to make me feel like an important part of her life. I honestly don't feel very... important or valuable to her life at all. It's hard to explain, but a part of me wishes she would acknowledge what exactly it is that we share. Just so I know where I stand in her life... like, I know it sounds selfish but a part of me feels like if I was as important to her as she claims, that she would find ways to make more time for me during some days or find ways to make me feel like a bigger part of her life by this point. I try not to impose these thoughts to her since we've been on & off again for almost two years, but deep down I honestly had hoped that by this point maybe I would be a bigger part of her life & vice versa. I don't wish to talk to her all day every day or anything like that, but I want to feel more important than only being given one single part of the day to chat with her. Most people who are in love typically [i]want[/i] to spend more time together than that, right? I end up feeling used & controlled when I'm the one sitting there waiting for a response from her at the end of the day.... I know that she loves me but I honestly don't know if I can keep waiting and waiting for something to happen like this. I love her to death but if something doesn't change soon, I don't think I can continue to wait for something that may never even happen. We don't even talk on messaging apps like normal people do, she keeps our talking limited to either email or a youtube playlists [b]even though she has a freaking phone.[/b] That only started happening after the breakup though, as she felt that "my actions should have consequences". She's the one who makes the decision as to what we do, where we talk & the such... I don't have much of a say in the matter. There's no way I'm going to wait until her mother passes before making that next step. But at the rate things are going atm, it sure seems like the only plan she's got. Idk if it helps but she's a fearful avoidant so that makes matters a tad bit more complicated as well. I'm at a loss though at the end of the day.

What should I do? Give up on her & find someone who can make that time for me that I am looking for? Or should I try to ride this out, and see where it brings me for a little while longer? I love her so much but I just want to feel important to someone again... I wish for my presence to be valued & wanted by someone again. It doesn't feel very [i]wanted[/i] by her on some days like today, where I haven't heard a word from her in about three days. (To be fair she did warn me in advance that she had family coming over to stay the night, but still...)
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ElisbchM
I think you answered your own question about halfway thru your story.
BTW ... 2 years isn't long. That's not even getting started. Do you really want to still be hashing this stuff out with her 5, 10 years from now? That's what i thought.... go find another woman. A productive and rewarding hobby would be better. Love and relationships are over-rated. Why do you think more than half never make it? It's probably too late already, but try not to get sucked into the pleasures of women. It's only temporary.... and they always make that decision [i]for[/i] you every time (it's their game and their rules) unless you're smart and strong enough to be able to walk away at anytime....and having better interests for just yourself is also a plus. Good luck. 馃憤馃徎
TheMasterMan122-25, M
@Elisbch This is by far the most informative & well-thought out reply. I have all of those things tbh, but I am weak & get sucked back into the pleasures of women after some time. You're 100% right by the way, it is their game and their rules which makes me not really want anything to do with love for quite a while if I do just give up on this. I feel as if I definitely deserve to have a say in regards to that decision, but some people just won't let you. So it may be for the best that I just give up on her in terms of romance. If it ever comes up again, I'll simply tell her that I wish to just be friends as we both cannot give each other what we want. Lol u gotta love the replies telling me that I'm the needy one smothering her. Apparently only being able to talk to the person you love during one time of the day each day is normal to all of you? Fuck outta here, Relationships need more than just one time a day to flourish & prosper.
ElisbchM
@TheMasterMan1

to be honest, it's not thought out. I've lived it for a very long time is all. It's just one person's perspective. It's what I've learned and what works for me. They'll be more opinions posted here. I got tired of playing the [i]game[/i] but only (like many) spent too many decades doing so. For me, now it's only platonic relationships with women or nothing at all and I feel free, far less drama and the game doesn't exist. It's easy for me but I remember, it's a lot harder when you're younger. A lot harder.
Use your gut instinct. If it doesn't feel right most likely it's not. Try to talk it out but be prepared to read between the lines a lot.