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He said marriage counseling or he’s getting a divorce. We start tomorrow. Lmaoo

Im really just going cause I want to be able to talk to the therapist but he waited until things got really bad to where I actually feel weird around him and it feels like we’re over doing our stay with each other. I told him these things. Like everytime I look at him I remember the nasty things he said to me.

When I try to work I remember his voice making fun of my job. When I try to stay home and play with our son I have flash backs of him calling me lazy or saying everything is paid with his money. Not true because even though he made it to where I can stay home I work for extra things and I furnished the whole apartment. I drive my car and I hear his voice telling me I wouldn’t have a car if it wasn’t for him. Then I hear a sad song and tears full up in my eyes and I have to pull over and take a break. Also lately I’m Leary of his kind gestures because I never know when it’s going to get blown up in my face. Like now he’s lovebombing again buying gifts I didn’t ask him to get, telling me how much he spent on my valentines presents. Honestly we don’t have it like that for him to even be bragging. I love him but love isn’t enough when respect is gone. I try to show respect for him but then he does something and I guess I get ptsd and freak out cause I never know if he’s going to blame things on me again and act like I’m over reacting.

Also he honestly believes he can make a marriage work with me even thought he told me he lacks empathy for me and empathy in general his words. I told him it does show in his actions and he said he doesn’t need empathy to love me or be with me. It’s the little things like one time when I was sleep the head board fell on my head and it hurt so bad I cried he looked at me and said ohh. Are you ok well it fell on me too. (His words)

Then if I try to talk to him and I say one wrong thing he doesn’t like he tells me to get out his face and if I don’t stop talking immediately when he says he yells at me. So now I’m tired of talking and I asked him to move out but now he came up with some ultimatum that it’s either therapy or a divorce. I just want to see if therapy would actually help but I’ve heard you shouldn’t go into therapy with a covert narcissist.
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th3r0n · 41-45, M
Sounds like he has a fair share of issues and then some, but moving out when you're married isn't healthy

Marriage isn't supposed to be until you divorce, it's supposed to be until death do us part

That's why marriages don't last anymore, people consider divorce an option instead of making the effort to fix things

It's not like it's easy, but you need to communicate openly

He's clearly trying to win you back, why don't you let him but tell him the things you need him to work on for you to be ok?
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th3r0n · 41-45, M
@WhereTheCloudsareFarBehindMe the idea of saving a marriage is funny to you?
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