The problem with relationships and chronic fatigue?

Spending time together is an element of my partner's day, after work, cooking, housekeeping, etc. For me it's the only highlight of the day, the only event that feels like I have a purpose, what I'm pretty much just waiting around for the rest of the day while she's busy with all those other things.

Of course I don't expect a healthy person to give up everything else, but this difference in perspective and meaning of "us time" tends to create enough friction to stop any bonding progress before it really gets anywhere.

That was my realization of today. Now I need to figure out how to deal with this. But first: sleep. (If I can put my thoughts on this on hold for long enough.)

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Saucylover · 26-30, F

Been there. It’s a form of codependency. I had it bad with my ex. We were together five years, and the highlight of my day was going home to lay in his arms, tell him about my day, and just love on him. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him.

He became verbally abusive the last year of our relationship. I remember craving that love he once shared with me. I remember what it felt like to be safe with him. I couldn’t seem to grasp that the love knew, the man I knew, was long gone. Addiction has corrupted his mind. He was a shell of the man I once knew. That codependency I developed clouded my eyes to what he had become.

I say all this to say that you need to have healthy boundaries and space. It’s good to enjoy your partner, but it’s unhealthy when that is the only enjoyment of your day. I’m sure your partner is amazing, but find something else that makes you get that same joy or something close to it. A healthy dose of space will only bring you closer together.

NerdyPotato · M

@Saucylover I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, I realize such dependency isn't healthy for a partner or myself. I do have some other hobbies, but those don't help anyone else. So although they are enjoyable, they don't feel meaningful.