Do you believe in long distance relationships?
Or even online one?with the potential and anticipation of it not staying that way for too long. Maybe I'm just a dreamer
31-35, M
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Tatsumi · 31-35, M
I grew up with a guy who got married to a girl he met online. Now, the only reason it worked out for them was because she moved to our state. Physical relationships and proximity are pretty important for relationships. If humans have pheromones, which is unconfirmed but possible, that's part of it. But staring into someone's eyes also releases oxytocin. Touching releases oxytocin. And there's probably other stuff happening on that level
Without that level of physical intimacy in whatever form, online relationships tend to burn bright, but burn out much quicker. It's easier to get close to someone--on some level--online, as personal image is less of an issue, so people can speak heart-to-heart, more easily. But, they also burn out quicker, imo. And they're much more vulnerable to outside forces. E.g. meeting someone who is actually around you.
As for long-distance, same issue. I had a gf go to the military, and we talked on the phone and wrote letters all the time. But distance is rough. We ended up breaking up. Mostly because I couldn't handle the distance. It's difficult.
Can it work? Probably. But it won't in most cases, imo. If you both have plans to move in together, like my friend did, it can work. Otherwise, it's most likely doomed to failure.
Without that level of physical intimacy in whatever form, online relationships tend to burn bright, but burn out much quicker. It's easier to get close to someone--on some level--online, as personal image is less of an issue, so people can speak heart-to-heart, more easily. But, they also burn out quicker, imo. And they're much more vulnerable to outside forces. E.g. meeting someone who is actually around you.
As for long-distance, same issue. I had a gf go to the military, and we talked on the phone and wrote letters all the time. But distance is rough. We ended up breaking up. Mostly because I couldn't handle the distance. It's difficult.
Can it work? Probably. But it won't in most cases, imo. If you both have plans to move in together, like my friend did, it can work. Otherwise, it's most likely doomed to failure.
bearinthebigbluehouse · 26-30, M
Slickman18 · 31-35, M
I think it can work if your positive about it. I believe shift your focus to better yourself and keep your mind occupied, at the end of the day you have that person you care for and talk to. If and when the urge becomes too strong to bear not having physical contact, well then you know you need to make the move to regular dates in person. Then see where it progresses. I do believe if your not willing to spend some time and money into travel and hotel, then you probably shouldn't even consider the idea as you want to have some regular dates in person before the next step. I think you know at the end of the day what you are willing to go through and do and you may be able to find the best person in the world if you can enjoy each other so much to continue with it. Then when you have each other physically it will be even more amazing.
Wildstrawberries · 41-45, F
No.
To both.
I think it is hard enough to develop a real flesh and blood relationship and keep it flourishing.
When it comes to virtual, it's just heart and mind games,
perhaps unintentional, but nevertheless, IMO.
I mean you have to eventually MEET, don't you? ...
Long distance, well, if you NEVER meet, same as above.
If you do meet, best of luck to ya both.
To both.
I think it is hard enough to develop a real flesh and blood relationship and keep it flourishing.
When it comes to virtual, it's just heart and mind games,
perhaps unintentional, but nevertheless, IMO.
I mean you have to eventually MEET, don't you? ...
Long distance, well, if you NEVER meet, same as above.
If you do meet, best of luck to ya both.
Slickman18 · 31-35, M
Well for my post it was with intentions to have that person physically at some point. The idea in what I was trying to provide and ask about was more or less long distance to boot and in time have it develop into something more and in person. Maybe even start with visits until the comfort is there to make a move. I do agree you can't only have it online or long distance without ever having the person at some point.
Wildstrawberries · 41-45, F
LadyBronte · 56-60, F
CallmeHopelessNotRomantic · 46-50, F
Slickman18 · 31-35, M
AmbivalentFriability · 26-30
CallmeHopelessNotRomantic · 46-50, F
Slickman18 · 31-35, M
She i believe is right. I think the problem with society, we are pretty much molded into doubting ourself and what we can do. Then we just like to look at what others can't do to try and make ourselves feel better:/
lilhappybear · 26-30, M
InOtterWords · F
Wildstrawberries · 41-45, F
SW-User
Nope.