Should I move on or should I go for him?

I had this ex whom I don't really know why but makes me cry until today. Everytime I remember him my tears just starts to fall but we've already broken up like 3 years ago. My friends tell me to ask him and be my friend again but in my head it says I should move on. I'm really bothered by that.

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firefall · 61-69, M

Well, you probably should move on, but if the memory of him induces you to cry, 3 years later, I'm not sure you're going to be able to, without at least some sense of closure, of it being finished. Do you know why you broke up in the first place?

missinghaven · 22-25, F

I don't know why we broke up. It's just I had to tell him to cool off because he was starting to get clingy and mad for petty things and the next thing I knew we broke up without any closure.

firefall · 61-69, M

@jhaylynskie: That's probably a large part of why he's still a source of pain for you, it's hard to feel like it's over if you dont understand what happened. In which case, I'd say, make contact at least, see if you can get an understanding of what happened from his side. Once you have that, you can either let things drop, if you feel more complete about the relationship, or stay friends, or try again if you feel you're both grown past whatever the problem was.

But I dont think you'll be able to just move on without a sense of resolution (unfortunately).

missinghaven · 22-25, F

@firefall: I guess so but still he treats me so coldly that even when we pass each other he doesn't even spare me a glance.

firefall · 61-69, M

@jhaylynskie: That sounds like he's still hurting, too, then: maybe he feels [i]you [/i]terminated things (stranger things have happened than both ppl thinking the other did the splitting)?

If he really won't let you initiate contact again, I guess that pretty much seals the end of it - at least you can tell yourself, going forward, you did everything you could do.

missinghaven · 22-25, F

@firefall: I heard from a friend that he got rejected courting someone recently though. I admit I was hurt a bit.

firefall · 61-69, M

@jhaylynskie: Well sure, if you still have something for him, the idea he courted someone else will be a bit painful

Plus, there's a tiny bit of all of us, that wants -all- our exes to languish and pine for us, forever, to be honest :)

missinghaven · 22-25, F

@firefall: Yeah I seriously feel that at this moment. I probably miss the memories with him.

firefall · 61-69, M

@jhaylynskie: I well understand & remember that sort of feeling :(
I hope you do try to reconnect with him at some level (esp if he's just been rejected, he may be more open to that). Please, let me know how it goes, if you do?

missinghaven · 22-25, F

@firefall: I would. Thanks for your concern. I also appreciate your advices. 🙂

firefall · 61-69, M

@jhaylynskie: gladly, whenever you need it