How many break ups in a relationship do you need to say it's over?

How do you know is still love and not obsession?

@CrazyCatLady: It's a bit of both. They probably need each other as much as they love each other. That was the case for me and her. Try to tell them that they both need to stop being so stubborn and let each other have their will seen through at different points.

It gets more complicated everytime, one of my friends has broken up 3+ times with his gf, but then she dates other guys and he dates other girls, and sometimes that stuff comes up, like "maybe I don't give you what you got from the others" etc.

@martinthefirst I like what you said about they both being stubborn

@CrazyCatLady: That is sick behaviour. That is not love. That is not obsession. That is something entierly else. You do not seperate, date others, and then come back, that is not love because if it were they'd be so jealous of each other that they would never accept getting back together.

@anotherclone: Experience is the best teacher 😜

@MartinTheFirst: That's it, I am calling Dr Phil :P

@anotherclone: We live trying to change other people in order to love them. But the truth is, love can change people, not the other way.

@anotherclone: You shouldn't need to try, you need to let things be.

@anotherclone: I know the feeling... The moment when you go back in and think "okay I will try to change a bit to her liking as long as she changes"... and she doesn't.

For how long has this been going on between you and her? Is there any difference that is unsolvable that keeps you guys from ending this cycle?

If only I had the solution, sadly we broke up ever before we could find the solution. What I thought worked though was restricting how much you care for her actions, I can only assume that what is breaking you up is some sort of jealousy?

@CrazyCatLady: In a relationship both parts needs to try... And of course both of them love each other so they want it to work.

@anotherclone: Hmm... Then maybe you have to power through the times where she does not feel? It could be a phase that will end when you learn to cope with it

@anotherclone: It's more comfortable for her to have someone to rely on when she needs it, but also someone that she can push away when it's needed. She should go to therapy, because she is obviously not taking your feelings in consideration.

I've seen this too many times.

@anotherclone: hm... stubborn... Are you married?

@anotherclone: This breaks my heart. Reminds me of someone... and when I met him, he had his heart as broken as yours. It takes time to heal the wounds.

@CrazyCatLady: thanks and sorry for deleting posts. I don't like to share my personal stuff :)

@anotherclone: That's ok, it's your right to decide what stays and what not :)