Does every person have an affair at some stage in their life?

@RubySoo now here's a response that will take the question in a new direction.
I wonder if with all those stories both people were on the same page.
In the classic scenario yes. Everyone wants to think it really is person meets person they meet a few times, they become exclusive.
But given the fear people have surrounding these subjects I wonder if they were all exclusive.

I mean you have people in marriages talking about having the traditional vows but leading a marriage that is untraditional in every sense.

What counts as an affair when relationships seem to be so complicated.

@Mellowgirl i think most oeople thing of an afair is having a sexual relationship with another while married or 'offical' with someone else. Yet these days, many couple (at least) claim to be in open relationships and agree their partner can have fun elsewhere....so is it still an affair? Also, in this age of internet and social media, people grow close to another and have emotional affairs with people they will never ever meet...which can be every bit as damaging as a real life affair.
People having camsex with others online is common too.....and the amount if peeps who tell me they dont see that as cheating. I wonder if their other halves would thing the same....

@RubySoo I wonder if they agree to it until it happens. These open marriages. When someone steps close to a boundary and they get hurt does that story suddenly change to being an affair?

@Mellowgirl some people can seperate sex from emotion. Its a fun activity. Many people cant. They see sex and love as going hand in hand. But, emotions sneek up on us and what if you fall in love with the person you are banging with your partners permission? The permission is to have sex, not grow attached.... ?

@RubySoo very complicated stuff.

@Mellowgirl I know a couple whose marriage ended (luckily before children) because it was not only open but included swapping.

The classic "he fell for the other one..."

I know someone else whose appetite is extreme and he convinced his wife to peruse Tinder for a third participant. They're having issues now.

I feel bad for her.

My situation is similar but not. I am not getting the attention at all. I'm like a partner in a strictly platonic relationship with the expectations put on a non platonic partner.

Strangely, I'm OK with that because even though I love my wife, I don't like her very much.

You gotta be pretty vain and base to make love to someone you don't like.

I need intimacy and that isn't a part of my marriage. I can end it, sure. But I can also endure with short flings or one night stands. Yet there's no intimacy in that. It's not real.

So...

@RubySoo Thats correct IMO. Some people CAN totally separate the two. I think the older and more experienced you get the easier to see the difference. It’s not for everyone but traditional relationships that attach a moral value to monogamy as if it’s the only way to function and be happy are only looking at the issue from one perspective.

@Bluewood i dont think age has much to do with it...experience, yes.

@RubySoo @Bluewood this is still going! Maybe you two can talk on your personal whiteboards or messages.

@Mellowgirl
Bluewood tagged me so i replied to him.

sorry...you dont want more replies? I assumed if i post was still up it would be acceptable to reply....no? 🙁

@RubySoo Yea but when it start to become a back and forth past 6 entries it can get really tiresome.
I have other people replying and what this does is, if they come up around the same time I miss the ones to me. And then I'm inundated with your ones.
It's unfair to anyone new that's kindly wanting to participate.
That's all. Nothing wrong with people making friends but it can go else where.

@Mellowgirl its the first time hed addressed me! The first few were between me and you!
I dont know him! ???