What would I have to give you in order for you to be willing to get back with your ex?

A reason why you would want me to get back with my ex. I think my ex and I could possibly be friends if anything, but as far as romance I'm sure we've both moved on. Well, I know I did.

I million bucks maybe

Ipecac

A lobotomy

Drugs

Give her a lobotomy

A new heart