If a guy had a purity/promise ring unrelated to marriage or religion because he was saving himself for a special girl because he just wanted the first time to be with someone he was comfortable with would you still be interested in him? Like he always thought as a boy that the most romantic thing was to just wait for the right girl and give her the best gift he could that she could know she's his first (and only)? To be fair no one ever wanted him too and he got called ugly as a boy but that's besides the point. What if that guy had never done ANYTHING and was really nervous at the prospect of touching you or being touched by you, like even smacking a girl's ass he got nervous about because he's a fairly big and strong guy and didn't want to hurt you?
I would theoretically date anyone if we got along and liked/respected each other. Personally, I think purity and promise rings are kinda corny and a gimmick (basically just an excuse to sell more rings, in my opinion), but the idea behind them is okay. Like, there's no reason I wouldn't date someone because they wanted to save themselves for someone special. That's a personal choice, and I respect that. If I end up being special enough to do that with, great! If not, then the relationship probably wasn't going to last long-term, and it's better for them to keep searching.
@FaeLuna I take pride in my sense of integrity and have since I was a boy seeing it as the greatest gift i could give as me giving the most important thing I have to give to the right girl. The ring means everything to me, it's the greatest symbol of who I am: The boy who always dreamt of his girl and being the awesome boyfriend to her and being that loyal, devoted romantic guy. I would hope the weight with it to me carries over. At the same time I am nervous about it since women don't tend to like guys like me. Especially not those 20+ who tend to have had more partners as time goes on and don't want the guy who needs patience physically. I've never been touched. Touch is something I crave that is also terrifying.
@zeframcochrane Hey, if the ring and what it symbolizes mean that much to you, it's important! Don't let anything I say dissuade you. Symbols are powerful, and no one can take that away from you.
As far as what women want in someone, all I can really say is that the right partner for you will not lose their patience, and will take the time to do it right, because if they're right for you, they'll care about the moment. They'll put in the effort for you because they care about you. If you find someone who isn't willing to do that, then they're not worth your time. This means a lot to you, and if they're not going to respect that, then it's not going to work.
@FaeLuna I have a crush on someone well older than me who really helped me get my life back and one of the hardest things was hearing her give me pointers and guide me along and one of those things is constantly suggesting I have casual sex or sex in a relationship without any expectations. That kind of hurts since it kind of feels like she doesn't like me for who I am. My sense of romanticism and my identity is heavily tied to that ring. I spent 4 years not wearing it and despite that I still held onto the ideals of love that I always had as a boy. And I'm glad I did, I'm glad I kept the ring. I get to put it back on now that I've found myself again but I'm still terrified. I'm getting older. I'm 24 in 2 days and there's an age at which it stops being something endearing and attractive or becomes something weird or you get to the age where you missed out on everything. It's scary knowing someone sees you so different. Especially someone you like, because of something. And something that you like so much about yourself that everyone else considers a detriment or something that "doesn't matter". Like it's a car that has plastic wrap on the seats still "oh that doesn't matter, it's still a good car". I wouldn't judge someone based on her past. I mean...I guess I kind of would. It would never stop me liking her any less. If anything I'd want someone who could show me things and ease me into it. I'd just, at the same time I'd have to get past the envy of how she was likely having sex while I was getting called grease and knocked around in HS and Uni. There'd probably be feelings of inadequacy and like she's more of a man than me. It sucks knowing that every woman you get interested in has probably had a lot of sex in her past and wants a guy who knows what he's doing so you're instantly off her radar, romanticism doesn't matter.
As a boy I always dreamed of being an awesome boyfriend and husband to some girl. One day making her breakfast in bed after an awesome night. Making her dinner under candlelight every night. Going for walks together and picking her flowers. Playing her songs on my piano and lying together at night just telling each other everything that's happened and holding each other. Seemed so nice. And one day giving her my purity/promise ring so she could know how important she is that I want to give her everything I can and I want her to know I'll always be 100% loyal and devoted even when she's not there. She'd never have to worry about my eyes or my heart wavering. I'm not ready to give up on the idea that romance can exist in the world yet.
SW-User
These kinds of posts are tough. Women want confident men and posting "Would ladies like..." basically shows you have no confidence.
@BetweenKittensandRiots Well, it was posted at like 3am in the US, so there were a lot of potential responders asleep. Not sure where the rest of the world was.
@FaeLuna I do wonder what your take on things is mildly although it does seem like a bad question to ask at this stage of our knowing each other lol....
I mean I would understand if you felt it was too personal since we don't know each other quite well enough. bI kind of think we're not ready to ask these kinds of things yet myself.. but it was asked brazenly by someone else lol...
@MoonlightLullaby You jumped on this pretty quick. Odds are until I accomplish my goals you'll see a number of posts from me. Like I said, this site is useful for venting. To some extent I believe you're a bit naive to the way most women tend to approach men, at least in my experience.
@zeframcochrane Then I'll refrain from further replying to you on a site used for venting as well as giving advice. Stay trapped inside a negative head space if that's your choice, and for God's sake, quit asking for advice. You can't help others who refuse to accept perspectives, so why are you putting it all out there for people to waste their time on offering sincere kindness? 🤔
@MoonlightLullaby My apologies if that came off angry I didn't mean it to. I use this for venting but advice is welcome. I was just saying that's why you see multiple posts from me. Most of it is venting.
