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4meAndyou · F
It's awful. Personally, I have the worst possible judgement in men. I always think men are wonderful. I go starry eyed and walk around bumping into things. It's like I'm a little kid that got to go to Disneyland...but then the disillusionment starts.
I walked in on two of my ex-husbands.The first time I was out playing tennis with a friend, came home early and there was a 14 year old girl in the house with the ex. AND she was snotty...to ME. The second ex, I came home sick from work, and there he was with his future 2nd wife in our house. That was the worst one, unbelievably, because I was only 23 and I had a baby. He threatened to put a hit on me, broke open the back door with a pry bar and stole all of the appliances awarded to me by the court...and then played at being a deadbeat Dad. More than 10,000.00 in arrears.
The third one, I discovered after about 13 years was ill...just mentally ill in so many ways. Physically abusive until I started sending him to jail...and then he switched...to pure madness. Gas lighting, screaming at the top of his lungs for NO reason...threatened to lock me up...and I realized I have this ONE life...ONE. And more than half of it is gone. I finally decided I just want to live the rest of it in peace, without some monster screaming at me.
So that is how I cope. I tried for a long time, and then I realized it is me. It is MY poor judgement. I always pick the same man. Charming, loves a good time, and seems so perfect and fun...but marriage shows you the illusions.
I walked in on two of my ex-husbands.The first time I was out playing tennis with a friend, came home early and there was a 14 year old girl in the house with the ex. AND she was snotty...to ME. The second ex, I came home sick from work, and there he was with his future 2nd wife in our house. That was the worst one, unbelievably, because I was only 23 and I had a baby. He threatened to put a hit on me, broke open the back door with a pry bar and stole all of the appliances awarded to me by the court...and then played at being a deadbeat Dad. More than 10,000.00 in arrears.
The third one, I discovered after about 13 years was ill...just mentally ill in so many ways. Physically abusive until I started sending him to jail...and then he switched...to pure madness. Gas lighting, screaming at the top of his lungs for NO reason...threatened to lock me up...and I realized I have this ONE life...ONE. And more than half of it is gone. I finally decided I just want to live the rest of it in peace, without some monster screaming at me.
So that is how I cope. I tried for a long time, and then I realized it is me. It is MY poor judgement. I always pick the same man. Charming, loves a good time, and seems so perfect and fun...but marriage shows you the illusions.