How do you define someone who is husband material? would love to hear from men and women!

Hi everyone! I recently broke up with my boyfriend, but i'm just trying to decide if it was the right decision for me.

I know that dream men don't exist though. But i want to make sure i'm making the best decision for my life that isn't affected by something unrealistic. So i want to ask for guidance.

I'm 27 and I want to get married in the near future. I am a very caring, yet ambitious woman, always striving to achieve more. However, I have balance in my life- I am able to accomplish my goals while giving complete attention to my man. I currently work full time, am finishing my masters, go to the gym, cook, clean, and spend time with my bf.

I want a man who is financially and mentally and emotionally stable, also looking to achieve more, has a good relationship with his family, is caring, exercises, and will be loyal and make time for his family.

My ex is extremely caring, supportive, loving, makes time for my family and me, helps me and my family whenever we need, very reliable, and he would give me the world if he had it. He is very loyal and very considerate. his family is also extremely nice and we all get along really well.

However, he does not have an education and he does not want to go back to get one. He also doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. One day he will work with stocks, the next day he will want to get into real estate, the next day he will want to be a videographer or photographer, the next day will be acting or modeling, the next will be something else. He's kind of everywhere. He day trades and has lost a lot of money in it but is convinced that is the easiest and fastest way to make money.

I've asked him to take classes before and for the two plus years we have been together he refused to go and take classes for anything. He said he doesn't want to waste time taking classes so he can still provide for me and him. Additionally, when i ask him to do something, it takes him months or even years to do it without us getting into huge fights. For example, when i asked him to help me around the home (such as do the dishes when i cook), we fought about it for two years or so before he did it. When i tell him to stop day trading, he hasn't stopped and just fights me about it.

However, one thing I respect is that he has never not paid his share of things. He never asked me to pay because he doesn't have money. he would get into debt just so he can take care of me.

but I really could not deal with the instability of the future... my goal for being with him was to get married and two years down the road, he hasn't created anything stable for me to accept a proposal... Stability is important in my future, especially because i want to create a beautiful family and provide for my kids.

So when i broke up with him last week, he came back after a couple of days, and he apologized for everything. He told me that he thought about everything i said and that he is really stupid for not trying harder to get a stable job, for not looking quickly to get back on his feet and build something, for trying different things and not knowing what to do. He said that he really is sorry for all of the pain he caused me and that he promises to do better. he said he will focus on something stable instead of being everywhere. he said he would take his money out of stock and he told me he would listen to me more and try to understand me, instead of getting defensive. He also said the reason for him being everywhere is because he was trying to impress me and make something good for our future but he failed and he shouldn't have done that.

I respected his insights and his apology... but I just don't know if I want to give things another shot because I will not accept a proposal from him without feeling we have a stable future ahead... and I don't want to wait another two years for him to get his shit together. Any insights would be greatly appreciated! I'm sorry for such a long post.

xSiFiGamer2016x · 26-30, M

Damn, this was a long read. I may not be in the position where you are, but I get it when a woman wants something and they should be more respected. And I respect you because you have a purpose. Here's what I think you should do:

If he's truly sorry about what he said, about all the things he said, then it's good enough to forgive him. BUT if he keeps going on about his mind was all over places and keeps doing the mistakes that hinders your goals, then you CANNOT hesitate to forgive him. Just move on. It's almost compared to that of cheating: if he messed up, then you can forgive, but may lose the trust. Cheat on you again, and you go elsewhere. Like I said, move on.

I see that you have a bright future and you don't wanna waste time with someone holding you back. You deserve more than that. It'll be both phsically and emotionally sick if you keep going down the road with someone less... stable. Still, that guy was willing to love you in most ways, he didn't have to "impress" you. Many women want a man, or other women, that can really do something legitimate rather than to try. Almost sounds like the guy, or girl, isn't trying. I would honestly let myself be single and to keep going forward to achieve a dream, but if you want someone that shares with your ambitions, then relationships like that would work.

You do have a right to chose, though. You can forgive and hope he'll change, and some people can and will change, or move on to your own will and to find a better man more reasonable. It's basically my point I'm trying to cross. It's your call. 👌

KuroNeko · 41-45, F

I have been with some very angry men with a lot of issues. Personally I'd just like a guy who was kind and laid back but still able to keep his shit together so it didn't fall on me to pick up the mess he makes (physically and emotionally). A lot of men want a mother rather than a gf it seems. Someone who wont leave no matter how awful they are to them. I'm pretty devoted when I love, I just want that to be appreciated.

If a guy makes mistakes and says sorry, forgive him. But if he continues to make the same mistakes then just walk away. The more you let someone get away with, the more they'll push it.

Listen to your instincts on this. Does it take more than you are comfortable with? Does it leave you tired and sad to deal with him all the time? Are you giving more than he does?

Adstar · 56-60, M

When woman set their standards unreasonably High and then dig their heels in and refuse to settle for a decent man they eventually pass the critical age when they have lost their youth and no longer have their high fertility..

That's when they no longer have the ability to attract a decent man and instead of holding out doggedly for Mr Perfect they find themselves on their knees desperate for mr he will do..

They then either go with the lower quality man and spend the rest of their lives regretting the Mr decent they kicked to the Kerb.. Which ends up making them and their mr he will do partner miserable..

OR

They then decide marriage and a Baby is not for them and they spend the rest of their lives with their cats or dogs lonely and regretting that they kicked mr decent to the kerb..