My boyfriends doesn't have any hobbies except smoking weed

Before (like when we met 4 years ago), he did lots of sports and had many friends, the past 1-2 years all he's doing is spending his weekends with his 2 roommates and smoking weed on the balcony; or going to some club (not often), then stands in the corner, just smoking... He doesn't have any friends in the office anymore and is not interested to meet anyone new.
It has become much worse since corona, he should be doing home-office but he said he can't work from home and is going out smoking every day multiple times. His company will stay closed till december.
He turned 30 this year, I'm 26. His roommates are 24 and 25.

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Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

Why do you think he's ended up doing that?. Did you notice anything around the time or after he started smoking weed a lot?. I know when I used to do stuff like that it was because I was unhappy. That being said some people can get psychologically addicted.

PhoebeJ · 31-35, F

@Ryannnnnn He says he feels overwhelmed when he should be thinking about "big" stuff that matters in life - regarding work and even our relationship. Everything is like "maybe in 10 years he's gonna be ready to make such decisions...".

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@PhoebeJ It sounds like he's afraid and stressed but he's choosing escapism and hiding from making the decisions he needs to make that would actually rid him of the stress.

CestManan · 46-50, F

@PhoebeJ If he is 30, it is time for him to get his act together. Waiting til 40 is a little too late.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@CestManan Yeah we can hope so. His defence mechanism to keep himself emotionally safe is probably to avoid the source of the stress. I stopped smoking weed myself when I was 25-26. It's easy to judge but he's probably struggling, might require some tough love though.

CestManan · 46-50, F

@Ryannnnnn Thing is that the further we get into our 30's, the less "Cool" it is to drink/smoke/whatever. I am over 40 and it is kind of embarrassing to see people my age who still think getting drunk or stoned is a hobby.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

@CestManan Yeah I kinda agree even though I'm not there myself, it seems a little sad. People who do it every once in a while I still don't judge but yeah it seems like they never "grew up" or got past that point in their lives.

BetweenKittensandRiots · 36-40, MVIP

@CestManan @PhoebeJ I have a disability but I was trying the college track it's just that I'm not going to put myself through being exhausted through classes and my Trazadone got lost so I ended up withdrawing but if I can get back in touch with Luke dorf <=therapist office and such I'm basically going to apply again.

We're all just waiting for this stupid Virus to clear up so we can go places again.

Anyways what I am getting at is that to have no ambition at this point and just sort of melt away is just not appealing anymore.

I'm getting very weirded out too at the quality of women that some boys seem to find it easy t o choose pot over.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx2dbYKkFc4]

the first thing I thought when I saw this song was how impossible it would be to relate to a boy that choose pot over a woman, especially if that woman happened to be a rock star.

It didn't take weed to kill my ambition though, just depression after being bullied so much.

it's hard to understand though because basically all I ever cared to fight for was a woman's heart...
no real professional ambitions but I did want a partner. something I've wanted since I was a little kid.